Is Randy Just Paranoid? Or He's Just Stoned (More So than Usual)

[Musical Reference Points: 850]

Randy Moss--you never cease to entertain me.

"It's crazy around here, man," Moss said. "It's something that we're trying to hold on to, and, hopefully, Coach Art [Shell] can move us in the right direction, so I'm just trying to stay away from all of that stuff this year, like I did last year and, hopefully, we can win some games."

This may be the single most evasive utterance I have ever heard out of an athlete, including Jason Giambi. "It's"; "around here"; "something"; "all of that stuff"...What in Sam Hill do any of these things mean? Also, I love his modest goal of the Raiders winning "some games."

Moss appeared unhappy with decisions on the receiving corps, specifically the trade of Doug Gabriel to the New England Patriots.

"I'm really kind of disappointed that they let Doug Gabriel go," Moss said.

(Actually, Mr. Careless Wire-Service Writer, Moss didn't "appear" anything, as he was on radio. But I digress.) This qualifies as Moss's one tangible complaint from the interview, or at least from the parts transcribed by any print media I've seen. But then he gets really, hilariously vague again:

I'm just not thrilled with the way things are going on around here," Moss said. "I'm thrilled, I'm glad, to have Aaron Brooks as my quarterback. It's fishy around here, man, so, actually, we're walking on eggshells around here."

Is anyone else imagining Moss conducting this interview from his bedroom, cupping one hand over the telephone receiver while constantly glancing toward the door to make sure he's still alone? Oh, and he's on a rotary phone. And his bed has a canopy. Anyone? No? Ok, just me.

One thing about this organization, everybody has a chance and opportunity to speak their mind," Shell said. "Every individual, every player. So, what he's talking about? I have no idea."

That makes all of us. God bless you, Randy Moss. You inspire me to write pointless shit.