Hack Pop Culture Reference of the Day

Courtesy of espn.com and Chicago Tribune columnist Phil Rogers and his column, "Best deadline deal? Maddux to Dodgers":

Was there really a time when we debated whether Greg Maddux could be an asset for a contender? Why didn't we just ask if the earth was round, if poker was on television and if Will Ferrell had a movie in production?

Phil goes on to make several other points displaying varying levels of acumen and wit in this column, shading on the whole toward the lower ends. You can pick them apart in your own time if you'd like.

Aw, hell; I've got time. I won't go crazy, but there's a few rebuttals I couldn't pass up.

Maddux has helped carry the Los Angeles Dodgers from last place in the National League West to first, and now the question is this: How could the Cubs have let him go without at least seeing whether a one-year contract extension would keep him in Chicago for another season?

Last place was what--five games out? And first place is what--one game up? two games up? (I'm actually too lazy to look that up; I kid you not.) The NL West has been ridiculously close all year. Stop sensationalizing things, jackass.

More importantly, Rogers is crazy. Yes, it broke my heart to see Maddux traded. But that mostly has to do with my Maddux Starting Lineup figurine I got when I was five and my general undying affection for Greg Maddux. Trading Maddux was the most logical economic baseball move. Extend the contract of a forty-something who often gets lit up and who undoubtedly--regardless of team--will earn at least three or four million on-reputation dollars next year? No thanks. Also, extending Maddux's contract would take a pre-season rotation spot competition away from a 2007 Cubs team that shouldn't contend but should see nice development from their young arms (i.e. Hill, Marshall, Guzman, Marmol).

Having said that, I would love if the Cubs re-signed Maddux this offseason. But again, that's only because I'm a sentimental softie, and the Cubs have the cashola to indulge me. So that's that.

Dodgers GM Ned Colletti pulled off the trade by offering shortstop Cesar Izturis, the 2005 All-Star who had become expendable when Colletti outbid Hendry -- ouch -- for Rafael Furcal. Now it appears Hendry can watch Maddux and Furcal (along with another discarded Cub, Nomar Garciaparra) in the NL playoffs.

Fuck you. Rafael Furcal is still overpaid. Ok, fine--maybe he really isn't. I'd need time alone with the data, but I'm just gonna insist it for now because I'm stubborn and made fun of the signing at the time.

It's easy to dismiss the work of GM Brian Cashman, saying he merely used George Steinbrenner's resources to buy Abreu and Lidle. That's what Boston GM Theo Epstein did.

Mostly, that's just confusing. I think I get the point, but it makes no sense taken literally.

Credit Cashman for having the patience to ride out two full months playing without both Gary Sheffield and Hideki Matsui, the latter of whom should be back soon. Had Cashman and Torre not bought time by playing Melky Cabrera, Bernie Williams, Aaron Guiel and others, Abreu wouldn't have been available, at least not without having to sacrifice Scott Proctor or another good young pitcher.

Come on; cut this shit out. An all-star team lineup minus two all-stars equals...Right--seven all-stars (more or less). Patience, my ass.

In closer Bobby Jenks, MacDougal and Thornton, manager Ozzie Guillen has a late-inning corps that fits the mold of Lou Piniella's "Nasty Boys" from the 1990 Reds. All three throw in the high-90s and have at least one quality breaking pitch. Don't look for great turnover after this season. These guys could be set for years.

Hey Phil--here's fifty bucks that says you're wrong. My prediction: free agency, ineffectiveness, injury, or any combination thereof will break this group apart by the end of 2008. Don't get me wrong; I like all three of these guys--especially Thorton--but bullpens just work this way.

And what of those Nasty Boys? Randy Meyers, Norm Charlton, and Rob Dibble were teammates for exactly two years--'90, during which Charlton started 16 games, and '91, during which Meyers started 12 and posted a super-duper nasty 1.49 WHIP. So the Nasty Boys were basically a one-year phenomenon. Smart money says so are the Bobby-Tho-Mac Attack--if the Sox are fortunate.

So the Sox "could be set for years"? Mr. Rogers, I think it's about time you left the Land of Make Believe. (And with that, I win the "Hack Pop Culture Reference of the Week"! Yaaaayy!) For the record, I thought MacDougal was an excellent acquisition, so I'm not refuting that in case I seem to be.

Bob Wickman to the Braves from the Indians for Class A catcher Maximiliano Ramirez

I don't like this choice for one simple reason: When you have a guy in your system with a name like Maximiliano, you do not trade him!

In Arroyo and Lohse, Krivsky provides a lesson for his fellow NL executives -- if you have a chance to add a pitcher who has had any success in the American League, get him.

Errrrrr....I see lots of problems in holding too firmly to this logic. But more specifically, people have to stop pumping up the Arroyo trade as some genius move. It's wayyyy too early to judge. I still doubt that Arroyo will have another year like this one, and I fully predict Wily Mo Pena to be a star. Just my opinion--time will tell.

This has been a bad, bad year for Theo Epstein and the catcher's position. The Red Sox have started six different catchers, and it didn't have to be that way. Boston opened the season with an outstanding backup for Varitek, but Epstein panicked when Josh Bard had trouble handling 40-year-old knuckleballer Tim Wakefield. He shipped Bard and right-hander Cla Meredith to the Padres to get back Doug Mirabelli, who was traded for Mark Loretta after the 2005 season.

I agree this was a pointless trade, even if the prospects hadn't panned out. I just wanted to show that I don't blindly stick up for Theo Epstein or any other execs I consider smarter than the av-er-age GM.

Phil Rogers is the national baseball writer for the Chicago Tribune, which has a Web site at www.chicagosports.com. His book, "Say It's So," a shameless money-grab that Rogers pissed out to capitalize on his home team's post-championship popularity just as every Boston writer ever did after the 2004 World Series, is available at bookstores, through amazon.com or direct order from Triumph Publishing (800-222-4657). I hear it totally blows.