Rumor Mill: George Costanza to be Lured from Yanks to Rival Red Sox

>> Monday

In the latest edition of "Manny being Manny," Red Sox star right fielder Manny Ramirez got into a heated brouhaha with team traveling secretary Jack McCormick which resulted in McCormick being shoved to the ground. Team officials stated that this stemmed from McCormick's inability to produce the "goods" for Manny's family and friends during the recent trip to Houston.

As a result, Red Sox officials are inquiring about the availability of current Yankee George Costanza, assistant to the team's traveling secretary. "We think Costanza is ready for the show," said Red Sox GM Theo Epstein. "I mean this guy has an uncanny ability to come up with new, original ideas. Who would have thought of cotton uni's until Costanza mentioned it to Showalter? And let's not forget about his extending the bathroom stalls at Yankee Stadium to the ground!"

While George Costanza is a "can't miss" hire for the Red Sox, there are still lingering effects of the gay-photo shoot that Costanza was involved in. "We can't worry about the past, we can only look to the future" said Epstein.


Crosstown Classic Brings Out Nothing More than Childish, Disgusting Pigs

I don't want to sound all high and mighty with my views on the 2008 Cubs-Sox intergalactic clash, but seriously! The number of arrogant pigs who go to these games are just astounding. I'm sure you have all seen (and if you haven't, I'll link the youtube video(s)) the video of some clown in a Jim Thome jersey beating another fan (his allegiances are not clear) senseless. All of this took place in front of hundreds of other fans who did nothing except watch and cheer. It is a truly disgusting scene when grown idiots have to bulrush 12 and 13 year olds so they can get a lick on the poor sap who likely just cleverly mocked the opposing team. Why can't cooler heads prevail?

Also, despite what you might think, it is NOT ok to mock and harass an opposing team's fan when that individual cannot even get into an R rated movie without his/her mom. It is no wonder why parents refuse to bring they're kids to these games. Why would anyone want his/her child in that type of environment?

I would go as far to suggest that this interleague "rivalry" crap is not only a detriment to baseball, but to society as well. We have truly become a pathetic group of pigs!


YCS Cleans Up Nice, Occasionally

>> Sunday

As you've no doubt gleaned from the above graphic, I've once again used a system of ones and zeroes to turn YCS into the homeless Vietnam Vet of the blogosphere back into the George Clooney of the internet that we so obviously are. I'll try to keep more up to date on the site to make sure that Photobucket doesn't screw us again, Pennypacker.

Also, I noticed while updating the links that we really don't talk to most of the people in our "friends" category, just like in real life. So, if anyone that reads us wants us to link their site, just shoot us an email at and we'll hook you up with the explosion of readership only a referral from YCS can provide.


Call 1-800-DOCTORB! The B Is For Bargain!

>> Saturday

Anyone who can't pinpoint that reference is no friend of mine.

Anyway, the following sentence is real and comes from a post on the JS Packers blog in re: scouts from GB attending a private workout held by former (?) Lions RB Kevin Jones.

The Dolphins, Steelers and Lions were also in attendance, according to Dr. D.S. Ping, Jones' holistic healer/agent.

Holistic healer/agent. Jesus Christ. I assume the professional football scouts/french pastry chefs on hand to watch the workout were impressed by the progress Jones has made in rehab.
But wait, it gets better. According to Dr. Ping's website (the appropriately named and not at all fake sounding "Dr. Ping's Professional Sports Agency" at, seriously) comes this nugget of information:
"Dr. D.S. Ping is dedicated to the philosophy of striving for and maintaining the highest standards in helping each individual reach his maximum potential in two major areas: the world of professional sports and in the art of Jishukan-Ryu Jujitsu."
So just remember, future NFL players: when looking for an agent, why settle for one who only handles NFL contracts. Don't sell yourself short. Get one who also teaches people how to kick ass with Jujitsu.
Also, Dr. Ping isn't actually a medical doctorb. He's got a "Doctorate" degree in Asian medicine.
Regardless, I guess picking this guy as your asiant (see what I did there?) makes more sense than taking Master P.


The Dumbest Thing Ever Said on BBTN?

Maybe. On tonight's show, they were talking about this, and someone said "it's all about finding a way to win right there. Good job by them."

Wow. It's all about finding a way to win. In a game in which you get no hits and score the game's only run on a very questionable error/infield single, a two base throwing error on a steal attempt and a sac fly. That's the way they found to win. By relying on the Angels to make two mistakes right in a row that would allow them to win.

Fine, screw it. Joe Torre is just the best manager ever. He foresaw both of those errors, all old-tymey like.


Mike's Extremely Half-Assed EURO Final Preview

>> Thursday

With Germany set to face off against Spain, the cliches are out in full force. On one side, the free-flowing, attacking, passionate, hot-blooded, flairful Spaniards nicknamed La Furia Roja or "The Red Fury." In the other corner, the efficient, clinical, efficient, controlling, efficient, aggressive, calculating Germans. Even their nickname, Die Mannschaft is efficient since it only means "The Team."

No doubt the Final, broadcast as part of a doubleheader Sunday after Becks' LA Galaxy visit suddenly-hot DC United, will also be awash in historical allegory. The Germans are looking to cement their fourth EURO title. The Spaniards looking to end decades of choking in major tournaments. Hitler. Franco. Catherine of Aragon. Kaiser Wilhelm. Maximus. Sergeant Schultz. Each of them will be suiting up for their respective sides and will have an influential role to play in the outcome of the game.

As for the game itself, I'm not even going to bother doing a preview. One, because I honestly have no clue who is going to win. Two, because picking soccer games at this level is always a crapshoot. Three, because I am too biased in favor of my one-quarter-countymen, the Germans. Four, even if I weren't, Germany looks better on paper, but the Spanish look like a team of destiny...if not for the fact that they've never been a team of destiny. So while the Spanish may be looking to head Germany their biggest ass-kicking in Austria since the Von Trapps, I gotta go with the Germans.

My call: Germany 3-2. Sorry for wasting your time.


Vinnie's Mock 2008 NBA Draft: Draft Day Edition

Now that the pre-draft posturing and speculation is all but through, here's how I think the lottery selections will shake down (along with Draft Express's picks).

1 Bulls
Draft Express: Derrick Rose, G, Memphis
My prediction: The Bulls will package this pick along with Kirk Hinrich, Tyrus Thomas, Ben Gordon, and Luol Deng in a rumored three-way trade with Miami and New York, in which they would receive Dwyane Wade, Udonis Haslem, the #2 pick, Eddie Curry, David Lee, New York's 2011 first-round pick, Jalen Rose, and Travis Best.

2 Heat
Draft Express: Michael Beasley, F, Kansas State
My prediction: The Bulls select Derrick Rose.

3 Timberwolves
Draft Express: O.J. Mayo, G, USC
My prediction: The T'Wolves select Michael Beasley and trade his rights to the Celtics for Sam Cassell, P.J. Brown, and Brian Scalabrine.

4 SuperSonics
Draft Express: Brook Lopez, C, Stanford
My prediction: The Sonics select O.J. Mayo but are immediately folded, with Mayo's rights falling to Boston.

5 Grizzlies

Draft Express: Kevin Love, C, UCLA
My prediction: The Grizzlies select Kevin Love and trade his rights to the Blazers for Channing Frye.

6 Knicks
Draft Express: Danilo Gallinari, F, Armani Jeans Milano
My prediction: The Clippers trade up for this pick, attempt to draft Gallinari, but write down his team's name instead, ending up with an actual pair of jeans.

7 Clippers
Draft Express: Jerryd Bayless, G, Arizona
My prediction: The Heat select Brook Lopez.

8 Bucks
Draft Express: Joe Alexander, F, West Virginia
My prediction: The Heat trade Ben Gordon and Ricky Davis to the Bucks to acquire this pick and select Robin Lopez after they notice Brook looking forlorn.

9 Bobcats
Draft Express: Russell Westbrook, G, UCLA
My prediction: The Bobcats take Kosta Koufos, prompting Stephen A. Smith to exclaim, "Kosta Koufus? Larry Brown’s a doufus!"

10 Nets

Draft Express: Eric Gordon, G, Indiana
My prediction: The Nets take Alexis Ajinca, who is pelted with grapes.

11 Pacers
Draft Express: Kosta Koufos, C, Ohio State
My prediction: The Bulls step in here to use the Knicks' 2011 pick and take Brittney Griner.

12 Kings
Draft Express: D.J. Augustin, G, Texas
My prediction: The Knicks finally realize that they never used the #1 pick from the Chicago/Miami deal and take Roy Hibbert, who is booed so mercilessly that he cries on David Stern's shoulder.

13 Trailblazers

Draft Express: Alexis Ajinca, C, Hyeres-Toulon
My prediction: The Blazers take Brandon Rush and trade his rights in a five-way trade with Boston, Minnesota, Memphis, and Lottomatica Roma (Italia, Serie A), in which Memphis receives Randy Foye, Brandon Roy, and Brandon Rush; Roma receives Tony Allen. Ray Allen, Allan Ray, and Rudy Gay go to the Blazers, and Foye and Frye are sent to the Celtics, along with Minnesota's conditional 2012 first-round pick. Frye, Foye, Roy, Ray, and Gay all fail their physicals, and the deal falls through.

14 Warriors

Draft Express: Donte Greene, F, Syracuse
My prediction: The Warriors take, ummm... Eric Gordon. Or Russell Westbrook. Whatever. No one's reading anymore.


Jason Giambi Knows the Secret to Warming My Cockles

>> Wednesday

Jason Giambi: "Taylor, what are you doin' here?"

Jake Taylor, Umpire and former Indians Catcher: "Aww, you know, couldn't cut it in the Mexican leagues."

Jason Giambi: "How's your wife and my kids?"

Photo lifted from Deadspin via probably somewhere else.


Why it pays to have family connections

Royals shortstop Tony Pena, son of the former All-Star catcher and manager of the same name, remains employed by (and frequently starts for) a major league team despite hitting .154 (.177 OBP, .189 SLG) with O HR and 8 RBI in 169 AB this year.

As drawn to my attention by Baseball Prospectus Premium Newsletter Stat of the Day, Pena's VORP is -18.7 (which for the non-SABR people, means your average minor league lifer would have created 18.7 more runs of offense to this point in the season, given those 169 ABs). His OPS+ is -2. That's right--negative two. (For a guy to have a negative OPS+, his OPS has to be less than half of the league-average mark.) What's worse is that he's also a below-average fielder this year, going by the dubious FRAA metric (-5, though he was +13 last year, which still wasn't enough to offset his -25 BRAA).

Pena is 27, and his best OBP in a full minor-league season was .301 in high-A ball. His top slugging was .366 in AA, where he slugged a whopping 11 HR. Unless the fielding metrics wildly underrate his true defensive ability, Pena clearly does not belong in the majors.

Professional athletics is supposed to be one of the few meritocracies that exists in the world, but Pena is a pretty good example of why it helps to have a name.


A message to Candace Parker

>> Tuesday

Ohh, Candace.

I can't stop thinking about you. I mean it. I've watched that clip of you dunking last night sixty-five times. The first forty-two times, I watched it on my phone, where I recorded it myself. Did you see me out there last night? Section 117, Row 8, Seat 21. That was me, your biggest fan. Then my phone battery died, so I watched it twenty-two more times in my head. And then I watched it once more on a slide projector.

Candace--I want to meet you. I won't lie. I've been with all kinds of women. Women who can crochet. Women who can throw knives. Women who can contort themselves into a tiny ball that fits in a small duffle bag. Women who can do that trick where they tie a cherry stem into a knot with their teeth. But never a woman who can dunk.

I don't care that Lisa Leslie beat you to it. You may be the second woman in the WNBA to dunk, but you can still be the first to dunk on me, if you know what I mean. That's innuendo, Candace.

And you don't even have to travel far to find me. Naperville isn't but a thirty-minute drive from me. I can pick you up when you come home for the offseason. Or better yet, you can pick me up, since you probably have a nicer ride, even on a WNBA salary and WNBA endorsements. We could dine at the Signature Room and ride the ferris wheel at Millenium Park. It'll be great!

Candace, I know a part of you has always wanted a reclusive, intellectual by your side. And I've always wanted a woman who can dunk. I think we were made for each other.

<3 <3 <3 XOXOXO


This Is Old, But Shut Up Because I Just Saw It

>> Monday

We pile on Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel columnist Michael Hunt all the time around here but I thought this nugget deserved mentioning. In an article from last Wednesday about the Brewers and Ned Yost, Hunt asked:

"So to the question that lingers 70 games into a season in which the Brewers are playing serious catch-up with the maybe uncatchable Chicago Cubs: Should Lightning Rod Ned stay or go?"

Seriously, JS editors? You're letting a sentence like that go from your flagship columnist? Give me a break.


Rest In Peace, You Angry Motherfucker

A very sad day today, as the world says goodbye to one of the 5 funniest human beings that ever lived, George Carlin. Whether you know him as Mr. Conductor from Shining Time Station like Pat does (before Ringo took over) or as the guy who came up with a "7 Words You Can't Say on TV" bit that was totally different than Krusty's, Carlin was a king among men. Rest in peace.


YCS MLB Road Show: AT&T / SBC / Pac Bell Park

>> Sunday

Some blogs bring you hard-hitting scoops. Some bring you in-depth analysis. Others, satire. But here at YCS, we bring you something better: recaps of relatively meaningless regular season baseball games ten days after they occurred.

So in continuing our YCS MLB Roadshow segment, I bring you the narrative account of the Giants game Paul and I attended during our recent pilgrimage to see that street in the opening of Full House, which sort of doubled as a vacation of San Francisco.

After a long day of stalking the mysterious blonde-haired woman who believed she was possessed by the ghost of her dead ancestor, Paul and I relaxed our nerves by taking in the opening game of the Battle of the Bay interleague matchup between the A's and Giants.

It was Friday the 13th, so we figured we'd see some crazy shit go down, like Dan Ortmeier sacrificing a dove on the field or Barry Zito pitching a shutout [rimshot]. It turns out, we would not be disappointed. (But you'll have to keep reading to find out how!)

The area around the park seemed pretty cool... city blocks, business establishments, streetlights, you know, stuff like that.

The crowd, as expected, was a mix of loyalties--about 65% Giants fans, 30% A's fans, 4.996% impartial, 0.002% out-of-towners posing as A's fans to look cool (me), and 0.002% Brewers fans unabashedly wearing the hat of their out-of-town team (Paul).

The inside of the stadium has a spacious concourse and smells exactly like my apartment--a blend of garlic, potatoes (both from the famous garlic fries that you hear out-of-town announcers rave about during the eighth inning of a blowout), gourmet coffee (another popular concession), and of course, beer.

Our seats were up in the 300 or "view" level, which I'd deride as code for "nosebleed" if not for the fact that the view was--as the hollowest stereotypes of San Franciscans say--groovy, man.

We were lucky enough to be there on "'80s Night," so we were treated to throwback orange Giants uniforms, which incidentally, were only worn during three years of the '80s and also three years of the '70s (not the only era-bending that the promotion would include). Also as part of the promotion (I think), we were treated to another surprise--Matt Williams in the hoooousse! (...even though he only played three years of the '80s).

One of the things we noticed early on was that there are no beer vendors in the stands at AT&T Park (which was no big loss considering the $7.50 price tag). Instead, they have coffee vendors who dispense their fare from a giant thermos they wear on their backs. That's California for ya--always different!

Other than the thrill of Bengie Molina hitting cleanup, the first inning was slow and uneventful, thanks to spotty control from starters Zito and Greg Smith. The second was pretty much the same until the first awesome, wacky, Friday the 13th-like thing I'd never before seen live at an MLB game: a straight steal of home, courtesy the aging but spry Omar Vizquel.

In the third inning, Barry Zito heard his first (but not last) boos while he was in the midst of a three-run A's rally. He lasted 5.2 shitty innings before being pulled for the fantastically-named Vinnie Chulk.

Another part of the '80s promotion (I know this has become total incoherent sprawling) was a ridiculous scoreboard graphic thing where the Giants hitters' pictures were photoshopped into posters of popular '80s movies. Rich Aurillia's movie was Turner and Hooch. I only bring it up because I noted each player's movie on my scorecard (appended) and didn't want anyone to be confused.

Say, here's a question: What was your favorite 1980s fashion? Think of an answer, and keep it to yourself. Now, I'll give you three choices for your answer. They're the same three choices that the Giants Scoreboard Network people offered when they posed this question to a fan and some of the Giants players for one of those recorded between-inning segments. Was your answer...

a) stone-washed jeans
b) rhinestone gloves, or
c) bell-bottoms

If your answer was c), congratulations! You're retarded! Just like the goof in the Giants marketing department who came up with this question. I quote the bell-bottoms Wikipedia page: "When the disco backlash started in 1979, bell bottoms started to go out of fashion along with leisure suits and other clothes that had become associated with disco." Personally, my favorite '80s fashion was the stovepipe hat.

Ok, so back to the game. Uh... pitches were thrown; balls were batted; some runs were scored, I think. It was an average game at best. But we stuck around for the end, and boy, did it pay off. With two outs in the bottom of the ninth, we saw zany Friday the 13th event No. 2:


Yeah, that was pretty sweet.

Ok, so I'm probably forgetting something and could've definitely constructed this post better, but too bad. I've got places to be. In conclusion, I got really dizzy and couldn't save the mysterious blonde woman who jumped from the bell tower and plummeted to her death. The End.

Here are the game totals:


The last untapped angle of the Cubs-Sox interleague series

>> Friday

It's a Len Kasper-Steve Stone joke-off!

I think you can guess who got my vote.

(Here's a hint:


And if you didn't already know, Ryan Dempster's delivery is impeccable. But here's the twist--I'm not talking about his pitching delivery!


Way to kill the suspense, Jayson

I've never really had any beefs with Jayson Stark--not to mention that he seems like he'd be a super, duper nice guy--and this post is sheer nitpicky crap. But I just found this column to be totally unhelpful.

Jayson is out to answer the question of who may be managing the Mariners and Mets next year. The answer?

Bobby Valentine, Jim Fregosi, Buck Showalter, Ken Macha, Bob Brenly, Jim Tracy, Joey Cora, Ryne Sandberg, Brad Mills, John Farrell, DeMarlo Hale, Ron Wotus, Ron Roenicke, Ted Simmons, Pete Mackanin, Joel Skinner, Terry Pendleton, Ken Oberkfell, Gary Varsho, Andy Fox, Eddie Perez, Tim Bogar, Jose Oquendo, Tom Foley, Scott Ulger, Jamie Quirk, Don Wakamatsu, Dave Jauss, John Mizerock, Pat Kelly, Lenn Sakata, Mike Quade, Ty Waller, Lorenzo Bundy, Torey Lovullo, Robby Thompson, Don Mattingly, [or] Whitey Herzog.

I don't really care much about the subject, nor am I at all bothered by this column. I just think it's funny that Stark listed enough candidates to not only fill those two vacancies but to re-fill them after the first two guys get fired while still having enough names left over to re-staff every other managerial position in the league and man a moderate-sized sea vessel.

I just can't believe Terry Bevington was left off the list.


Ladies--You can call me "Pacman"

>> Thursday

If you haven't heard today, Cowboys cornerback Adam Jones has publicly announced that he is dropping his former nickname "Pacman," in the hope of distancing himself from his turbulent past.

Well if you ask me, a nickname that good shouldn't just go to waste. So now that Jones has publically dropped the name, I'd like to publicly stake claim to it here on this blog. That's right--from now on, you will only address me as "Pacman" unless I permit you to do otherwise.

Not only is this awesome because people will now associate me with a guy who once started a riot in a strip club that ended up leaving a bystander shot and paralyzed after he inexplicably took exception to a stripper keeping the wads of singles that he'd showered upon her as though she was supposed to collect and return them, but also, people would think I'm awesome. Here's how:

When I walk into a room, people would be like, "Make it rain, Pacman!" I could go up to ladies and be like, "Wanna be Miss Pacman for a night? No, not 'Ms.'... I don't do feminists. If you are, I'm not interested. Let's go eat floating cherries and get chased by ghosts together. They don't call me 'Pacman' because of my appetite but because of what I'm packing in my pants." Oh man, this is great! Now all I need is a portable audio device to play the song from the game when I enter a room and the Pacman-dying sound effect when I leave. It'll be super-aweseome!

Too late to change your mind now, Adam. Your loss is my gain!

This bit of nonsense was simply my way of acknowledging that I'm back from vacation and will resume actual posting soon (including my narrative account of my first Giants home game). As I always promise but never back up: Substantive material coming soon!


That'll Make for a Tense Second Leg in Barbados

>> Monday

Team USA opened World Cup Qualifying with an emphatic 8-0 throttling of Barbados Sunday. The ball found the back of the Bajan Pride's net in the 1st, 12th, 20th, 59th, 63rd, 82nd, 86th, and 89th minute. The thrashing set a new USA record for margin of victory in a World Cup Qualifier, bettering an 8-1 scoreline against Cayman Islands in 1993. Dempsey's first goal, scored at 0:52 set a new USA record for fastest score from the start of a game.

If USA scores the first goal in Sunday's return leg in Barbados, the hosts will need to score 10 goals to advance to the regional semifinals.


Tommy Boy Looses Another...

>> Sunday

Just when Tom thought things couldn't get any worse, he looses yet another scholarship player. Jordan Crawford, he of the stellar 9.7 ppg last season has left Tommy Boy with just one scholarship player this upcoming season. Keep it up Tommy, I'm sure those candy-cane Hoosier fans will still love you after you lose your 20th game.


RIP Tim Russert

>> Saturday

We here at the YCS family would like to give our condolences to the the Russert family and their friends. The shocking passing of Tim Russert today has dealt a major blow to the journalism industry, one it can struggle to afford in today's world.

On a personal note, I had only recently begun to seriously watch Meet the Press because of the closely contested Democratic primaries. However, in that time I had grown to incredibly enjoy Russert's work in moderating the show and the fresh perspective he brought to a realm that will always need it. His story about the relationship with his father has become well known over the years, and one that should be a model to many people with Father's Day approaching on Sunday. As someone who now pays closer attention than ever to politics and enjoys hearing different perspectives on the field, I will greatly miss seeing Russert ask the tough questions and provide an honest perspective about an often times dishonest world.


Naming Names

>> Friday

At some point during the first half of the Celtics-Lakers game last night, one of the announcers (caught it in passing) said, "If there's anyone funnier than Kevin James, I want some names."


Trey Parker and Matt Stone
Jerry Seinfeld
Rodney Dangerfield
Robin Williams
Adam Sandler (1990-1999)
The Three Stooges
Jon Stewart
Steven Colbert
Steve Carrell
Food Poisoning
Natural disasters with widespread destruction


Congrats Jason Kendall!!! You Suck Just a Little Less Today!

>> Wednesday

Congrats on that home run! Wow, you really got a hold of that one.


Random thoughts while eating my Garden of Life Super Seed Whole Food Energy Bar!!!

>> Monday

Since we've all been too busy/lazy/indifferent to post much lately (though I don't think anyone else has noticed anyway), I figured I'd refresh the page by ripping off Pat's signature recurring post by tossing out a bunch of lazy one-liners about recent happenings in sports. Here goes...

Word today is that the Mariners fired hitting coach Jeff Pentland, who will be temporarily replaced by former Cubs manager Lee Elia. Wow--between manager John McLaren and Elia, I expect more unnecessary profanity in the Mariners' clubhouse than in Dennis Leary's standup act.

If we don't see better starts out of Joba Chamberlain soon, we may see Brian Cashman lose his joba.

Federer lost to Nadal again in the French Open. That Nadal is one fine-looking tennis player. And I do mean fine-looking.

Think Rafael Nadal bears any relation to former Marlins catcher Bob Natal?

Now that Dominik Hasek is retiring, he should have a lot more time to spend with his beautiful family and also, this guy.

Did you see Big Brown fall apart at the Belmont? Man, I haven't seen a horse choke that bad since that episode of Mr. Ed where he bites off Wilbur's arm.

That was some NBA Finals game last night, with L.A. nearly erasing a 20-point fourth quarter deficit. Man, I haven't seen Celtics choke like that since the Roman army won the Battle of Mons Graupius in 84 A.D.

More overdramatic: Paul Pierce on Thursday night or Cher in Moonstruck? Discuss.

...And I'm out!

(P.S.: I'll be going out of town tomorrow, so don't expect any new posts out of me until at least next Monday. Which is to say, don't expect any new posts out of this site until at least next Monday.)


Shoe(s)-in of the Week

>> Sunday

No, it isn't football season (anticipated rebuttal from Mike: "What about the EURO?"), but I'm bringing you a special baseball edition of the Shoe-in of the Week, where I share my expert gambling advice with odd-defyingly terrible results.

However, this time I'm putting my money where my ass can't cash. Wait... I think I did something wrong there. Anywho... My dad, who's in Nevada, called me to see if I wanted to bet on any of today's games. So I put a fin (five dollars, for you squares) on two of this afternoon's games.

I'm calling the Royals (+155) over the Yankees. The still-adjusting-to-starter's-innings Joba Chamberlain is going up against the excellent Zack Greinke, and the Yankees' bullpen has been horrible.

I'm also putting a fiver on the Orioles (+210) over the Blue Jays. I'm completely banking on the power of the unfamiliar, as the O's will be sending Radhames Liz to the mound to make his sixth major-league start against Roy Halladay (hence the lopsided line).

So if you happen to read this in the next twenty minutes before these games start (almost 100% sure not to happen), follow my advice. I'm never wrong!


Well, all the baseball talent in the family is in one kid.

>> Friday

-Dad...I'm RIGHT HERE.

-Well, I wrong?
- (long pause) Damn it.

For the last two years, I've kept the family sports news off this blog. However, at this time, I think an exception can be made. I'd like to extend a YCS congratulations to my brother Dave (pictured at right with a monkey on his head), who was selected in the 21st Round of Major League Baseball's First-Year Player Draft by the Los Angeles Dodgers.

No word yet on whether the hard-throwing right-hander from Burr Ridge will sign with the Dodgers for next season or return to SLU for his senior year.


Vitale: It's Mr. Obama!

>> Wednesday

With the 2008 United States presidential race heating up by the hour, YCS is doing its best to stay on top of every twist and turn. As part of our coverage, we're seeking out the top analysts in the world of sports to share their unique perspectives on the most recent developments in the race. In the third installment of our series, colorful college basketball analyst Dick Vitale takes a moment out of his offseason to weigh in on Senator Barack Obama's clinch of the Democratic presidential nomination.

Wow, what an exciting presidential primary season! After all the anticipation, we finally have a Democratic nominee, and his name is Barack Hussein Obama!

Hillary Clinton fought hard all the way, but in the end, Mr. Obama was just too tough. Now only one more opponent stands between Obama and becoming the first ever black American president. What a remarkable accomplishment! Just think--Five years ago, Barack was an unknown state senator from Illinois, and now he's one step away from the most powerful position in the world.




I remember the first time I saw Barack Obama when he gave the key-note speech at the 2004 Democratic convention. I was watching it with Digger, and I said, "This kid is going to be special. The charisma, the poise--This kid is SPECIAL. His stock is going way up. I'd like to buy some stock in Mr. Obama!"

When I heard last year that Barack would run for president, it didn't surprise me at all. I said to Mike Patrick, "I think this kid can go all the way. He has all the tools to do it, and he has so much momentum right now.

"But if there's one person who could beat him in the general election, that man is Robert Montgomery Knight. But if he doesn't run this term, I think only one other candidate could match up with Obama. And his name is John Sidney McCain III."

Wow--What an incredible battle this is going to be. The two powerhouses head-to-head in November: Jonathan Sidney McCain and Barackary Hussein Obama. I've got goosebumps! Feel my arms, Dan Schulman! I've got goosebumps!

I can't wait until the fall! 2008 should go down as one of the all-time great elections in the history of politics! It'll be awesome baby!!!!!


From Me to You Jason Marquis!

>> Tuesday


We have a new champion

>> Monday

Move over, "does phil nevin fuck other woman"--you've officially been ousted as the title holder for Best Google Search That Led to This Blog, as today, we crown a new champion.

Congratulations, "scott podsednik gay heartthrob."

(Returning soon: Actual posts)


Random Thoughts While Eating My Wheaties!!!

1.) You know what really grinds my gears, other than local radio stations' persistence on numbing us with Jack Johnson and Toby Keith, The Extra Sexual Party Network's "knob job" on Tom Crean. Yeah, how long before the overall-clad locals hunt him down after Indiana becomes the latest Big Ten joke?
2.) The Bulls reportedly are set to hire Doug Collins' perm as head coach....but what happened to "The Rifleman" Chuck Person? At the very least I demand the Bulls lure him from retirement to be their starting 2-guard!
3.) Does anyone find it ironic that the Boston Celtics don't have any legit white players on their team?
4.) The great thing about the Lakers isn't Kobe's the European All-Stars and their crisp ball handling and bounce pass skills. Somewhere Gene Hackman is smiling!
5.) I got in trouble at work last week not because I was trying to organize a National Spelling Bee pool, but because I placed the odds on some Asian kid winning at only 3-1.
6.) PETA really needs to get a grip on reality...I mean seriously it's just a fucking horse!!! Get a life !
7.) On that note, I demand the White Sox to pull those ridiculous TV commercials...especially the one with Nick "I suck more than expected" Swisher looking like a mix between a drunk bull-fighter and a semi retarded cowboy.
8.) Wouldn't Travis Henry fit in perfectly here with Briggs and Urlacher?
9.) I desperately hope Lou keeps referring to Scott Eyre as "Steve."
10.) Since I am at work getting essentially paid to write this, I think it is in my best interest to leave you guys with only 9 of my thoughts this week. Tune in next week for an unheard of 11

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