Rumor Mill: George Costanza to be Lured from Yanks to Rival Red Sox

>> Monday

In the latest edition of "Manny being Manny," Red Sox star right fielder Manny Ramirez got into a heated brouhaha with team traveling secretary Jack McCormick which resulted in McCormick being shoved to the ground. Team officials stated that this stemmed from McCormick's inability to produce the "goods" for Manny's family and friends during the recent trip to Houston.

As a result, Red Sox officials are inquiring about the availability of current Yankee George Costanza, assistant to the team's traveling secretary. "We think Costanza is ready for the show," said Red Sox GM Theo Epstein. "I mean this guy has an uncanny ability to come up with new, original ideas. Who would have thought of cotton uni's until Costanza mentioned it to Showalter? And let's not forget about his extending the bathroom stalls at Yankee Stadium to the ground!"

While George Costanza is a "can't miss" hire for the Red Sox, there are still lingering effects of the gay-photo shoot that Costanza was involved in. "We can't worry about the past, we can only look to the future" said Epstein.


Anonymous,  12:56 AM  

The overweight population of New England criticized the hire by the BoSox, noting that Costanza was one of the infamous "New York Four" who laughed and mocked an overweight New Englander while he was being mugged. While some questioned why a mugging would occur on such a brightly lit street in the middle of a quaint New England town this does not absolve Costanza of his actions.

Vinnie 11:02 AM  

Don't forget his pivotal role in the birth of interleague play. According to insiders, Costanza's meeting with Astros execs was what ultimately sold Drayton McClane--one of interleague play's staunchest opponents--on the idea.

Patrick 9:53 PM  

And guess what, the Yankees finally made a visit to Houston for the first time this past weekend

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