Have you heard?

...Ben Wallace has an afro!

If an article mentions Wallace's hair within the first two paragraphs (like this one or Rick Morrissey's column Friday morning), save yourself the time, and do not read it.

Because if the author mentions the afro within the first two paragraphs, he will probably mention his "swagger" within the first three and his "veteran presence" within the first four. Add in the requisite mention of Wallace's days at Virginia Union College, and whoops--750 words are up without a bit of basketball insight.

Seriously--the afro angle is beyond old. WAAAY beyond.