The Bulls are getting Ben Wallace this feaking rules I'm having a cow (yes a cow!!!!!!)

I hope all you fools who still pine for the mid-90s Chicago Bulls golden era can wipe your nostalgia goggles clean enough to appreciate this. When the Bulls are a-steamrollin' through the Eastern Conference next year, I absolutely do not want to hear:

"Oh, but it still won't ever compare to the 90s, back when the Bulls had Jordan and the sky was bluer and there was no crime or greed and cars were built to last, damn it."

Cram it in your icebox, grandpa. If you're reading this blog, you were probably too young and dumb then to really understand good basketball outside of the fact that the Bulls finished most games with more points than the other team and that Michael Jordan fought bad guys every Saturday morning alongside Wayne Gretzky and Bo Jackson.

The Bulls will probably be as exciting next year as any year during the Jordan-Pippen-Jackson era. The fact that you weren't yet jaded with the world in 1992 doesn't mean that the NBA was better or that the Bulls will never be as exciting again.

If that's how you wanna be, fine. But don't come crawling back and pretend that you've "always been a Bulls fan." If you pull that card, I'll tell you about all the times I watched them live between 1999 and 2002, seeing them win once and cheering the likes of Dalibor Bagaric, an up-and-coming Fred Hoiberg, and a comatose Charles Oakley. In fact, I'm telling you about it now. And if that's not enough, I can also tell you how my brother and I stood and screamed during the final minute against New Jersey in December 2000 because we might actually see them win their, like, second game. (They lost.)

But even more importantly--and this specifically applies to Bulls fans--don't characterize the league and its players less talented, less exciting, or less scrupulous just because your team has been puke-awful for most of the last eight years. Get over it; enjoy next year's team; and enjoy the NBA again, damn it.

And by the way, I still know all the words to the Superfans' 1993 Grant Park rally song. You probably don't even remember it, Inferior Bulls Fan.

Daaaaaaaaaa Bullsss da bullsss da bullsss da bullsss...