I Want the Heat to Win Tonight Just so Chris Sheridan looks Stupid Tomorrow

Thank you, Chris Sheridan of ESPN.com for giving me one more reason to root for the Heat tonight against the Pistons. I want you to look like an idiot tomorrow, as if this article didn't accomplish that already.

Five times since 1998, the Heat have watched an opponent celebrate after bringing an end to Miami's season.
---By this, I can only assume Sheridan means that in the eight seasons detailed, the Heat have made the playoffs five times and have not won a championship. What a record of futility! Never mind the fact that 14 teams besides Miami also "watched an opponent celebrate after bringing an end to their season," each of those years. Likewise, never mind the fact that only 7 franchises have won NBA titles since 1980, making the Larry O'Brien Trophy the most tightly controlled in the "Big Four" and College Basketball and Football.

Each devastating loss adding a chapter to the franchise's brief and brutal postseason history.
---The Heat have been to the playoffs 11 times since 1989. If we're using titles as the barometer here, one could also argue that the New York Knicks have had a brutal postseason history during this time frame, despite the fact that they have been to the playoffs 14 times and to the NBA Finals twice in that timespan, but with no titles to show for it.

Tonight could be different, the Heat having a chance to finish off the Pistons in Game 6 of the conference finals to advance to the championship round for the first time. But if recent history serves as a guide, there's a better-than-good chance that all those fans clad in white will be heading to the exits shaking their heads by the time the final buzzer sounds.
--- I'll refrain from making an incisive commentary on the general fickleness of Miami sports fans. But "if recent history serves as a guide?" Where is Chris Sheridan doing his research? Fact is over the last three years, 2004, 2005, and 2006, Miami has a regular season record of 153-93, and a playoff record of 28-14, so if we're going by "chance" then the odds are in favor of the Beach Boys pulling out the W tonight if anything.

Big games and big-game disappointments go hand-in-hand down here, as this historical summary attests.
---Sheridan closes his article by detailing moments of heartbreak for the Heat in the playoffs, but makes no reference whatsoever to moments like the stunning buzzer-beater by Dwyane Wade in 2004 against the Hornets. It also bears mentioning that of the five heartbreaking moments Sheridan lists, only two of them occured this century. This is like saying that when Adam Vinatieri doesn't kick a game-winning field goal, the Patriots have a really crappy record in the Super Bowl. Never mind the fact that this player has contributed moments of glory for the team to hang their hats on, and the fact that all the better results have come in the last few years instead of reaching back to the early '90s.