Shawn Kemp Definitely Coming Back. Yeah, Definitely... Definitely Coming Back

Get it? Because he's the "Reign Man." You know, like Rainman? Whatever.

Anyway, yes, it's true; the 36 year-old Shawn Kemp is attempting a comeback.

This news got me thinking: Which other too-old-to-be-good but not-so-old-as-to-die-on-the-field former pros would I most want to attempt a comeback? The following is a quick list of guys that came to mind. Feel free to add your own.

Rickey Henderson. The ultimate sports mercenary, he would still play if someone took a chance. What's another three hundred grand on top of the millions he made in his prime? Apparently a lot to Rickey Henderson. He could still steal 40 bags and draw 100 walks from the top of some desperate team's order. He might not hit .200, but as long as Rickey makes Rickey happy, who's counting?

Warren Moon. I would like to see this for one simple reason, and he would have to be signed by the 49ers. It is my assertion that Alex Smith could lose his starting job to a 50 year-old, and I think Moon is the best candidate.

Dennis Rodman. More so than the fact that Rodman was one of my favorite players--even during his San Antonio years--I would like to see him come back because according to E! True Hollywood Stories or Beyond the Glory or some similar shit show I saw a few months back, Rodman is kind of a lost soul without basketball. Come on, generic downtrodden NBA franchise that needs an attendance boost; have a heart and give Rodman one last comeback.

Wilbur Wood. I didn't check to see if he's still alive, but if he is, a Wilbur Wood comeback would rule. As we all know, knuckleballers don't age, and none of us born since the mid-'70s has ever seen a lefty knuckleballer. Talk about your definition of "crafty lefty." Also, he pitched like 400 innings per year during his prime (slight exaggeration). Now that's a gamer!

Michael Moorer. During his prime as a heavyweight champ, he lost his title to a 47 year-old George Foreman. Now that Moorer is himself advanced in years, I would like to see him turn the tables and shatter some current young contender's dreams.

Anyone from the 1993 Philadelphia Phillies. Right fielder Jim Eisenreich had Tourretes Syndrome; center fielder Lenny "Nails" Dykstra played with a wad of tobacco that made Moises Alou and Dennis Martinez look like pansies; three fourths of the infield--John Kruk, Dave Hollins, and Mickey Morandini--were certifiable trailer trash, as was left fielder Pete Incaviglia; catcher Darren "Dutch" Daulton should be institutionalized but isn't; and closer Mitch "Wild Thing" Williams was Mitch "Wild Thing" Williams (and also trailer trash).

Andre Ware. That way, people could continue to ridicule him for being an NFL bust.

And lastly...

Bo Jackson. I don't care if he's forty-whatever years old and his hip, back, knees, right arm, or anything else is artificial. The could all be wood for all I care. The commercials don't lie; he's the greatest natural athlete ever and could still play any sport against anybody.