Call it the "Yellow Chair Sports Front Page Curse"

Not one day after we boldly predicted Albert Pujols to double the single-game home run record, he strikes out in his first at-bat and proceeds to injure himself in the next inning.

Pujols a Juicer? We at Least Shouldn't Rule it Out

And by the way--I know none of us wants to think this thought, but what exactly might make a player's oblique muscle really tight and also make that same player hit lots of homers? Oh what oh what might someone inject into his back, or perhaps put under his tongue, or rub on his body in some "cream"-like form that might cause muscle tears and superhuman talent? Could it be...

...Steroids?!

I'm not saying it's my conviction that Pujols uses steroids. But it's certainly worth bringing up. It's time to stop being naive, kids. Steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs aren't going anywhere--testing be damned.

The good old days of raw eggs, medicine balls, and codified racism are gone for good. What most people consider "clean" is just a fairy tale dream.