Shakin' Off The Rust

ESPN.com has posted Power Rankings for the 2006-2007 season! WOOO-HOOO!

What do these mean? Nothing! YEAH!

But, some of it is kinda funny.

For instance:

1. Why are the Seahawks #1? Didn't they lose the Super Bowl? Tell me, please fucking tell me that you put the Steelers #2 because they lost Jerome Bettis and Antwaan Randle-El, then I can go back to hating you, ESPN. Yeah, I know it's unlikely that the Steelers are going to be the best team in football again, but it's just as likely as the Seahawks having a total collapse, a la the last few Super Bowl losers (New York Giants, I'm lookin' at you).

2. Dallas' offseason was all about T.O. If Owens is the player he was in his first season in Philly (77 receptions for 1,200 yards and 14 TDs), Dallas could be very good.

Dallas could also be very good if Drew Bledsoe played like he did in 1996 and Bob Lilly was still on the team and in his prime.

3. Will this offseason's free-agent spending spree be the one that finally pays off for the Redskins?

Yeah! You bet! The way Dan Snyder spends money? Fuck yeah!

4. (San Diego) A huge part of their success depends on how the offense flows through Philip Rivers.

If I were an ESPN football editor, I would have instead gone with: "Making obvious statements is a good way to add fluff when you're under a deadline for a meaningless set of NFL Power Rankings in June."

5. The Browns made some solid moves this offseason. Willie McGinest can still play and he's going to be huge in the locker room.

This just sounds funny to me. Sounds to me like the Browns need to expand their damn facilities.

6. One thing we're pretty sure you won't see Rod Marinelli doing this summer is riding a motorcycle onto the field at training camp.

Better prediction: I'm pretty sure you won't see Matt Millen have any idea what the fuck he's doing this entire NFL season.

7. (Raiders) Art Shell is clearly a natural fit, but he might have a harder time molding this clay into a winner.

...than whom?

8. (Saints) Sean Payton has made it pretty clear that he's going to get rid of guys who aren't buying into what he wants to do.

Yep, Sean Payton ain't lettin' nobody get by that doesn't want to play football. That's why the Saints recently released Corey Maggette and Rod Beck, they just didn't fit into the Saints' new philosophy.

Finally...

So Norv Turner is supposed to come in and rescue the offense? Good luck!

Dear ESPN,

Fuck you.

Signed,

Norv Turner.