This may well be the strangest thing since the Animal Olympics

For several years now, I have been on the Chicago Wolves mailing list. For those not in the know, the Wolves are Chicago's professional hockey team, as opposed to the Blackhawks who are the city's NHL team. (rimshot)

Sometimes they do promotions that have nothing to do with hockey. For instance, I can remember going to a game when I was young and seeing the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders perform at the intermissions. But this takes the cake, and from the sound of it, it might take it literally. This email showed up in my inbox this morning.

Aside from failing to have their personalization template work properly ("Dear First Name,") the Wolves have decided to have an eating contest between a man who is clearly mentally ill, and a man wearing a superhero outfit with gym socks on his head. Oh well, maybe it'll be like a weird gladiator match, where the Romans' idea of a promotional contest was to pit a tiger and a Moor against a one-legged Christian and an elephant.