Just in time for the playoffs (Not really, but play along)!

It's YCS's first foray into music!

Click to listen: "The 3,468th Super Bowl Shuffle Parody" (now featuring sound)

Consider this our Under-construction Website Launching Extravaganza. (Keep yellowchairsports.com bookmarked, however, as it should be mostly complete in a few days.)

This was intended to have a release date around Week 16 or 17, but when you're blessed with our level of ambition and organization skills, these things tend to slide. Fortunately, it managed to stay pretty current, minus a few references to the Bears playing poorly. Anyway, the lyrics are below. Enjoy!

We are the Bears, hustling you
Say it's for the fans, they think it’s true
We’re so good, we don’t need friends
We’ll blow this town when the season ends
We’re not just sitting by
Hearing your stories of ‘85
We don't find your hints too subtle
So here's your goddamned Super Bowl Shuffle

Thomas Jones
They call me “T.J.” and I like to dance
But the injury risk is too big to chance
We set the goal in Bourbonnais
To make it past the divisional game
We’re not doing this out of devotion
We’re just doin' it for self-promotion
The next few games might be a little trouble
So let's just do this Super Bowl Shuffle

Muhsin Muhammad:
This is Old Man Moose, and I'm second rank
I like playing but I love the dank
I wake at ten; I toke by noon
I've gotta think my drop-sies will be back soon
I once got called a “chocolate fairy"
I don't forgive, so watch it Kerry
But should I ever get another Class B
A Super Bowl win oughta get me free

Hunter Hillenmeyer:
I’m Tennessee Hunter, of modest game
Part of the defense but only in name
I've been hidden on most of our plays
Blending in and getting a raise
Give me a chance, andI’ll do alright
Nobody cares if our cap room’s tight
Whatever I’m worth, I think I make double
I'll gladly do this Super Bowl Shuffle

We are the Bears, backing in
Shufflin' our roster and getting thin
We once looked tough; now unsure
Maybe we are who they thought we were
We’re not just getting stuffed
We're giving up yards to everyone
We're not feared; we're in trouble
Better enjoy this Super Bowl Shuffle

Uh-huh
Uh-hhhuh….

Rex Grossman:
I’m the fickle QB known as King Rex
When I take the field, it's “Oh, what next?!”
I throw that rock and say a prayer
I can't tell it where to go from there
My first five games were such a tease
We went with Griese when we could've had Brees
So Sunday I’ll still be in that huddle
Let's hold off on the Super Bowl Shuffle

Brian Urlacher:
I’m Choir Boy Brian, I'm one of a few
The old guys love me ‘cause I’m white too!
I'm slick with my image as one can be
No PSA ever got past me
Some guys get jealous of me and Briggs
But as long as we're tight, I’m in with the [whistle]
So don't bring up my custody trouble
And I will do your Super Bowl Shuffle

[Harmonica solo]

Kyle Orton:
They say Grossman is our guy
But if no one else could, I guess I’d try
This is Kyle, I'm no Marino
But I look like Jesus and drink like Deano
So bring on the Irish! The maize and blue!
Oh shit; hold on—This isn’t Purdue
Well I can’t play when I’m seeing double
So I’ll just sleep through the Super Bowl Shuffle

Devin Hester:
I'm Hurricane Hes, I play both ways
They don't get on me 'cause I run like Hayes
When I flew off the board in the second round
Everyone wanted to put me down
But I can shake it, break it, any kind of kick
I like to score it and shake my dick
But please don't try to put me on D
My Wonderlic score was a 1.3

We are the Bears, stumbling through
The Sheriff's words are proving true
We looked so good, we started fast
Everyone wanted to crown our ass
But we're not just lying down
We're training dogs and storing up rounds
We promise if we get in trouble
We'll get off in time to do the Super Bowl Shuffle

Tank Johnson:
The fat man's comin’, I’m your man Tank
If the quarterback's lippy, he might get shanked
We stop the offense, we force a punt
We'd like to get Brady and kill that [whistle]
I'd love to beat on my neighbor's face
He'd better stop filing those noise complaints
So don't get close, unless you want trouble
And we'll give you a Super Bowl Shuffle

Ricky Manning Jr.:
Ricky here, I’m Mr. Intense
If they called me “Hit Man”—that would make sense
Eye me wrong, better run
I’ll beat you, faggot, just for fun
Lovie’s guys fill the ICU
That’s why they call us the Cover 2
So come on everybody let’s drink and fight
Then Grand Slam Breakfast at midnight!

Cedric Benson:
You’re looking at The Ced, the bonus baby
We may have Jones, but they should still play me
You’ve seen me sulk, You’ve seen me pout
Thirteen wins, but I've felt left out
I’ll be awesome; you will see
But the others have it in for me
Until my carries at least get doubled
I’m holding out of this Super Bowl Shuffle

We are the Bears, hustling you
Anything we want, you'll gladly do
We’re so big, we have our way
From East Chicago to west DuPage
We’re not dumb; we know your kind
You'll abandon us when we're 7-9
You're lucky we went through all this trouble
To give you clowns a Super Bowl Shuffle

"The 2,754th Super Bowl Shuffle Parody" is the intellectual property of Yellow Chair Media, Inc., and should not be reproduced or redistributed without the express written consent of the authors, the National Football League, and Chicago Bears Football Pesented by J.P. Morgan Chase BankOne Corp. and Governor Rod R. Blagojevich. Unlawful sale of copyrighted material is strictly prohibited. Not that this is copyrighted or anything, so if you can turn a buck on by ripping us off, you won't get arrested but you're still a scumbag. And you won't make any money. Voices are not those of the actual players, and if you couldn't figure that out yourself, you might qualify for a handicapped sticker.
All rights reserved, bitches.