On Bears RB Thomas Jones:
Stuart Scott: "Coach, what makes Thomas Jones so effective?"
Da Coach: "He's a DOWN-HILL (emphasis Ditka's) runner. He's looking to run down the hill all the time."
All of which was punctuated by Hurricane Ditka talking like someone was rushing him and he was having a stroke.
Also, if I hear some NFL announcer refer to football as a game of inches, I'm gonna spit.
"Talk to your doctor about Viagra, and get back in the game!"