Backpeddling: Vinnie's MLB Playoff Preview

Back in the spring, Pat and I wrote down our predictions for the final MLB standings on scrap sheets of paper. I can’t speak for Pat, but I kept mine. And yes, I’m a loser.

But as long as I have my sheet of predictions, I thought I would share them, if for no other reason than simple accountability. (I only predicted records of teams I thought would contend, by the way.) If you don’t give a shit, just scroll past it to my playoff predictions. If you don’t give a shit about those either, then go dick around MySpace like the voyeuristic, narcissistic waste you are.

AL

NYY 96-66
BOS 92-70 (WC)
TOR 85-77
TBD
BAL

CHW 95-67
CLE 86-76
DET 85-77
MIN 83-79
KCR

OAK 91-71
LAA 88-74
TEX
SEA

NL

ATL 89-73
NYM 88-74 (WC)
PHI
WAS
FLA

STL 90-72
CHI 85-77
HOU 84-78
MIL 82-80
CIN
PIT

LAD 88-74
SDP 83-79
ARI
SFG
COL

World Series: Oakland over L.A.

MVP: Ortiz and Pujols
Cy Young: Harden and Peavy

Not so bad. Ok, well, kind of bad. Especially on my Cy Young picks and the Cubs and Braves. But come on; who could pull the trigger on calling the Braves to finally miss the playoffs? Actually I bet a lot of people did. Screw them. And Rich Harden got hurt. So screw you.

Now one would think that because both of my World Series teams are in the playoffs that I would stick to my guns. But you think wrong. Here, in the classic YCS one-line style invented and perfected by Matt Bechtel, are my playoff predictions.

LDS round

Yankees and Tigers: This year’s darlings won’t have enough magic in Old Man Leyland’s moustache to pull it off. Call it a hunch, but I think the Yanks light up Verlander in Game 2. Expect ol’ Jimmy to be lighting up many a smoke during this series, as I don’t give Detroit Rock City much of a chance. NY in 3

Twins and A’s: After the Yankees, these may be the best two teams right now. Sucks they have to play each other in the DS. Such is life. I should probably stick with my preseason pick, but I just don’t think Billy’s Boys will get enough of their patented walks and slow, out-of-shape doubles to take this series. MIN in 5

Cardinals and Padres: The Cardinals: Pujols, Rolen, Duncan, Carpenter, and a bunch of guys I wouldn’t want on my roster. The 1-2 of Young-Peavy should be able to end this Cardinals sham of a playoff run. SD in 4

Dodgers and Mets: The Mets without Pedro are like the Destroyers without George Thorogood. When Old-man-do Hernandez and Steve “Blood on the” Trachsel are among your probables, don’t expect much. LA in 4

LCS round

Yankees and Twins: This would be a kick-ass series, so I’m really hoping it pans out this way. Call me crazy, but the Johnson-Mussina-Wang rotation is plenty good for the playoffs, especially considering Team Jeter’s offensive prowess. Maybe if snowstorms and a Metrodome inside-bees pestilence stretch this series long enough for Santana to pitch all seven, I’d go with the Twins. But that kind of thing is tough to count on. NYY in 7

Dodgers and Padres: Remember how Andruw Jones, K-Rod, and Miguel Cabrera first made their names during awesome playoff runs? Based on nothing whatsoever, I think Andre Ethier is gonna be that guy this year. Oh yeah, uh, the Dodgers are better than the Padres…or something. LA in 5

World Series

Yankees and Dodgers: A magical postseason run for Mad Dog will sadly end with a pounding in some middle game of this series. Captain Derek’s Dreamboat, led by a vengeful Alex Rodriguez, will take back the giant penholder for the first time since 2000. NY in 5

There it is—documentation to prove how little I know and how utterly futile it is to predict stuff. A lesson known everyone who’s ever tried to predict stuff in the history of predicting stuff. Now let's all watch as the A’s stick it up my ass by winning the whole thing.