Gene Wojciechowski writes like a dyslexic, meth-addicted ESL student potentially having other unspecified cognitive deficiencies (and stuff)

The Pole had this to say about last night’s World Series Game 1:

Why the Tigers, with two outs and first base open, decided to pitch to the best hitter in baseball makes as much sense as tuna fish-flavored mouthwash.

Has Gene ever heard the cliché, “Hindsight is 20/20”? I’d be shocked if he hadn’t since Gene himself is a living, breathing cliché.

But as cleverly-phrased as that observation is, I’m not so sure that Jim Leyland’s decision was truly as senseless as tuna fish-flavored mouthwash. In fact, one might even say it was as sensible as cinnamon- or mint-, or to a lesser extent, citrus-flavored mouthwash. Or even further, one might rate it as brilliant a move as inventing mint-flavored antifreeze and slipping it into Gene Wojciechowski’s mouthwash bottle.

What was I talking about again? Oh right—intentional walks. Admittedly, I don’t know exactly how drastic a talent drop-off from the current hitter to the on-deck hitter renders an intentional walk a statistically advantageous strategy. However, I’m willing to guess that the Pujols-to-Edmonds drop-off doesn’t make the cut.

I also do know that giving the other team an extra baserunner adds to potential damage from ensuing hitters. I also know that bases-loaded situations force pitchers to remain more safely in the strike zone, a fact that good hitters—guys like Jim Edmonds—know well. Add in the fact that Edmonds is a famously excellent fastball hitter and that Verlander is a famously fastball-heavy pitcher, and suddenly the intentional walk doesn’t seem like a tuna fish-flavored mouthwash-caliber mistake.

Had the Tigers elected to intentionally walk Pujols, I would have expressed my disagreement at the time, but I certainly would not have used so harsh an analogy as tuna fish-flavored mouthwash. Because unlike, Gene, I realize that without the proper supporting evidence, I must concede the possibility of being wrong. Also unlike Gene, I’m not a colossal dork who uses really horribly lame simile-based witticisms to sound clever when I’m making a bad point.

Anyway, I feel like I’ve made this exact post many times before, so I’ll stop and just leave you with more awesome cleverness from Gene.

When it comes to people disrespecting his ballclub, La Russa has a fuse as short as chin stubble.

The Tigers played as if they had a coat of rust on their bats and gloves.

Gene Wojciehjchohwjchiecjhowski sucks about as much as the Suckretary of Suck from Sucksylvania on the third Suckaday in Suckuary.