Sports World Nostalgia: Bob Probert

>> Friday

With my going to the Hawks-Maple Leafs game tonight, I figured this would be the only appropriate time to discuss this glorious competitor, and promise it will be the last post on the Hawks for a while. Today we look back to the hallowed days of youth, when the Blackhawks were actually kind of decent, and towards the tail end of their 27-year playoff appearance streak. While all the pretty boys in class had Jeremy Roenick jerseys, because he was the star and scored all the goals, real fans' favorite Hawk growing up was Bob Probert.

Probert was probably the kind of player Happy Gilmore would have been if he had made it into the NHL. He couldn't really score (Only 84 goals in a 16-year career in the NHL with the Chicago Blackhawks and Detroit Red Wings) But he could beat the living fuck out of people in a way that would make Carmelo Anthony run away like a scared little girl.

...well, like MORE of a scared little girl than he already is.

Probert was a true renaissance man. The kind of well-rounded athlete that makes the perfect hockey player. Probert was an expert at many skills, including fighting, brawling, sparring, knockin' heads, beating the fuck out of people, and occasionally, stepping in as his team's enforcer when needed. His versatility impressed fans of all ages for almost 20 years. Probert spent 3574 minutes in the penalty box in his career, an average that comes out to almost 2 trips to the sin bin every game. With stats like that, we can only assume that he'd beat the living hell out of Bob Barker too. His retirement in 2002 brought wistful memories from hockey fans, and wailing sobs from hospitals and morgues within a 20 minute drive of NHL arenas.

Here's to you, Probert. Thanks to you, we can all see the ridiculous double standard in how sports media portrays fighting during a game for when the players involved are white, blue-collar, working class heroes and when they're "out of control" (ie: black).


Vinnie 11:23 AM  

When I envision a young Mike Sever, I know the first two things that come to mind are "hardened badass" and "like Bob Probert."

Mike 11:42 AM  

Hey, I was 1-1 in my fights in grade school.

Matt 12:59 PM  

I would have loved, and I mean LOVED, to have seen the fight you lost.

Vinnie 5:48 PM  

I would like to see the kid he took down in that win. More importantly, I would like to know the age and gender of this kid, relative to Sever's age. And gender. (Zing.)

Mike 12:10 AM  

Haha. Male, and at the time, I believe we were both 11 or 12.

Patrick 8:09 AM  

Uh, if you were a Bob Probert fan growing up, that means you were a RED WING fan...If there is one thing I cannot stand, it is Red Wing fans...tell them to use some more color in their uni's, they look like Russians

My favorite player growing up was Steve Larmer (had 101 pts in the 90-91 season, I don't care if he sucked the rest of the way)...what a guy

Patrick 8:09 AM  

Uh, who did you beat...the blind kid of the girl???

Patrick 8:10 AM  

BTW, I love the fact that Bob Probert had 3300 PIM ... him, Tie Domi in a steel cage, who wins?

Patrick 8:11 AM  

Domi had 3406 PIM, would be an awesome fight

Nathan 10:29 AM  

I want to know the truth. The fight that Mike "won" was...

...against a kid who was physically and/or mentally handicapped.

...ended when Mike kicked the other kid in the balls.

...simply Mike blind-siding another kid with a blunt object.

...actually (no, really) against someone who was (I'm not joking) LESS athletic than Mike (it may be possible).

And the fight that he lost...I mean for a guy to admit that he LOST a fight, not even a tie, not even a "well we both got our punches in," but a straight-up, admitted LOSS...well, I have to agree with Matt. I would pay big money to have seen that ass whooping.

Nathan 10:30 AM  

Waaaaaaaaait a minute. I've got it. You beat up Vinnie, didn't you?

Mike 10:52 AM  

Sadly not yet, but the thought had crossed my mind.

Mike 10:54 AM  

Also, I started following hockey around 6th grade, which was also when Probert started donning the Indian Head sweater.

Patrick 7:26 PM  

Bob Probert will always be a fucking Red Wing to me

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