Great. Googly. Moogly. (...FUCK!!!)

>> Wednesday

Remember that hilarious scene from Dumb and Dumber when Lloyd breaks the news to Harry that he's traded their huge semi truck for a moped during the middle of their long cross-country trip? If you've somehow forgotten, Harry at first responds by recounting all of Lloyd's many blunders since the beginning of their journey in a stern, drawn-out fashion. Then, just as it seems Harry is going to furiously berate his friend for making such a foolish deal, he reverses his tone to giddily praise Lloyd for redeeming his past misteps.

Of course you remember that scene. In fact, most of us can recite it--not only because it's been on cable so often but because it is so memorable. It's comedy of the absurd at its finest. To the detatched onlooker, the transaction couldn't be dumber, but to the characters--by virtue of being so unimaginably dumb--the trade is a stroke of genius. And the situation, of course, grows funnier still, as the audience is treated to a brief montage of Harry and Lloyd cruising down the highway, both stradling the tiny moped, capped off by a shot of the pair with long trails of snot streaming from their nostrils to their cheeks.

It's a brilliant piece of comedy. Absolute hilarity. You wanna know what's far less brilliant and hilarious though? When YOUR FAVORITE BASEBALL TEAM PLAYS OUT THIS SAME ABSURD PREMISE IN REAL LIFE. I just hope Jim Hendry enjoys having snot on his face in a few years as he tries in vain to unload Ted Lilly in a trade-deadline salary dump.

Actually, now that I've written all that, maybe I should've saved this analogy for Hendry's next bad trade instead of this bad free agent signing and used something like "Jack and the Beanstalk" (except this time with Jack getting killed) for this example. Too late now.

The central point still stands: It's STOO-PID.

3 comments:

Patrick 10:04 PM  

Well, I gues it would be better that 3 years 45 million Schmidt wanted from the Cubs ... If they can somehow get Jennings from Colorado, I think Hendry (who has been hospitalized) may be onto something

Vinnie 11:38 PM  

I don't care what he does from this point on. Four years, $40million for Ted Lilly "Tomlin" (Berglism!) is, under no definition, "onto something." It's a sucky move no matter how you dice it.

Pandrew 11:14 AM  

1) Smells like Shawn Estes. But at least Estes was good before Baker wore his arm out in San Fran.

2) Hendry won't be around to see the end of Lilly's contract.

3) Hendry's angioplasty confirms all of my suspicions about that evil, evil man.

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