Famers on the Fringe

(That's right--I'm ripping off an ESPN.com feature as they are currently running it, exact title and all. I'd like to see them try and stop me.)

With this year's Hall of Fame ballots due on Dec. 31, ESPN.com takes a closer look at four hotly-debated cases: Jim Rice, Andre Dawson, Bert Blyleven, and Goose Gossage--all players who received more than 50% of the vote last year.

So while they waste their time doing that, we at YCS are here to handle the other end of the spectrum--the guys with no shot. And since we at YCS work twice as hard as everyone else in the industry (a baseless claim and full-fledged lie), we're giving you a double feature each day.

December 26 -- Scott Brosius and Paul O'Neill
December 27 -- Eric Davis and Devon White
December 28 -- Wally Joyner and Dante Bichette
December 29 -- Bobby Witt and Harold Baines
December 30 -- Jose Canseco and Ken Caminiti

December 26 -- True Yankees

Scott Brosius

The case for Brosius:
Brosius was a "true Yankee" who wore the pinstripes with class, dignity, pride, tradition, class, pride, adultness, grown-uptitude, tradition, pride, and absolutely
NO. FACIAL. HAIR. Like Hall of Famer Bill Mazeroski, Brosius never wowed us with his numbers, but did hit when it mattered most...on one very precise, isolated occasion. His departure from the Yankees directly--and therefore causally--correlates to the franchise's sudden downturn during postseason play.

The case against Brosius:
Scott Brosius liked to wear his socks high. The only guys that should wear their socks high are speedy Latino middle-infielders, black centerfielders, and pitchers (but only if they're the old-fashioned stirrup socks). Scott Brosius refused to acknowledge this baseball fashion code, and that causes us to question his merits on basis of character. We also question his merit on the basis of everything baseball-related.


Paul O'Neill

The case for O'Neill:
O'Neill was not only a true Yankee and a pretty good hitter, but a legend of the blooper reel. The play where O'Neill--then a young Red--famously kicked the ball to the cut-off man has made every blooper video from Ultimate Sports Bloopers to Marv Albert's Hilarious Wacky Sports Hijinks Set to Vaudvillian Ragtime Music and Marv Albert Voice-Overs, Vol. 17.

The case against O'Neill:
As far as we know, Paul O'Neill never caught that fly ball in his hat like he promised the sick kid on Seinfeld. No two-homerun game, no flyball in hat. He broke that kid's heart TWICE. No wonder Paul O'Neill always carried a reputation for being a jerk. Then again, if I were Paul O'Neill, I'd probably be a jerk too. You know, seeing as I'd have his genes and all.