Third ear? With your teeth? Wow! Get me some HGH!

>> Monday

"If he's doing that to me, I should have a third ear coming out of my forehead. I should be pulling tractors with my teeth," said Clemens, who wore a lavender button-down shirt during the interview, taped Dec. 28 at his home in Katy, Texas.

Equally sensible:

Said Clemens' attorney, Rusty Hardin: "Anyone not persuaded by that interview is not a well person."

So does my being ever-so-slightly persuaded mean I'm sort of well? It would be a welcome change of pace, no doubt. (And why was it necessary to say his shirt was lavender, Mr. Aaron Patrick Writer?)

Also, this "emotional" phone call between Clemens and McNamee that we keep hearing about--Was it like, "God damn you rat bastard narking on me after how much I paid you to keep your trap shut!" emotional, or more like, "After all the times *sniff* I let you pull back my underpants to stick that hypodermic needle in my ass--because I trusted you and knew you wouldn't make it hurt--you went and spilled all our secrets to the public! How could you, Brian?!" I wonder if we'll ever know.

And lastly, in case you missed it, tonight's Andy Rooney piece was freaking priceless (and Matt might say, borderline racist, as are many of Andy Rooney's pieces).


Matt 8:19 AM  

After hearing that quote, I came away from the interview with only one thought - Roger Clemens has no idea what steroids are actually supposed to do.

And I missed Andy Rooney, what was it? Was he talking about baseball again and how he can't pay attention to the game because of all the Rodriguezes and Hernandezes? THAT, my friend, was real borderline racism.

Vinnie 10:05 AM  

Not quite, but not far off either.

He was ranting about how none of the presidential candidates' last names sound "presidential" enough. He said something like, "If Rudy Giuliani were the first president, do you think our nation's capital would be named Giuliani D.C.?" Which I interpreted as, "I hate dagos."

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