Interpreting office pool banter

>> Friday

Being a big boy working stiff for almost two years now, I've known the simple joy of participating in the great American tradition that is the NCAA Tournament office pool these last two Marches.

What I've enjoyed the most so far about my first-hand office pool experience are the competitiveness the pool elicits from people who've never expressed any interest in sports whatsoever but will gamble on anything and, of course, the unabashed certainty with which people are willing to talk out of their ass in sizing up what are--essentially--hypothetical 50-50 propositions. It really brings me back to my days of listening to sports talk radio.

A few examples I've overheard (paraphrasing):

"I don't know... there's something I don't like about that team." (Translation: "I think their uniforms are ugly.")

"They've looked good from what I've seen of them." (Translation: "I think their uniforms are pretty!")

"I like North Carolina because of Hansbrough." (Translation: "Tyler Hansbrough is the only player I can name in this Tournament.")

"Kentucky always plays well in the Tournament." (Translation: "My logic for making this unlikely pick is that the players on this team, who have little or nothing to do with the past successes of that program--to say nothing of the fact they have a different coach--wear the same colors as the collegiate version of Antoine Walker... whoever that is.")

"I like Wisconsin because of the way they play defense." (Translation: "I like Wisconsin because of the way they play defense and not that unruly ghettoball you see most of these teams play.")

"You have Wisconsin in the final? What are you, an asshole?" (Actually, that was something I thought. No one said that unfortunately.)

"I just have a bad feeling about Memphis." (Translation: "They remind me of those blacks that I see riding the CTA that talk too loud, use poor grammar, and make me clutch my wallet and occasionally wet my chinos a little.")

Hey, speaking of wetting my chinos a little, I have Tennessee in the final, and right now they're clinging to a four-point lead over American.

5 comments:

Zuch 11:24 PM  

A great post made even better by using a graphic from The Office (thankfully returning soon to NBC). However, those people who picked Siena because they remembered the Crayola crayon would be looking awfully savvy right now.

2C4S 5:16 AM  

The Office sucks; it's written by Ivy League losers. Who am I? Umm... Vinnie knows!!! Come check out my new shizzle because I got arrested for my old shizzle. I spent two long days in jail, and I made friends with all the black people and Mexicans. And get this, one cop and one lawyer (not my lawyer) gave me their business cards because they want me to write/direct/consult for them--lol.

Vinnie 10:53 AM  

Yeah, I'm no big Office fan myself. I guess I put it in the category of watchable but nothing I'd go out of my way to see, which is pretty much the highest standing I give any TV show with a few excpetions because I'm a huge snob. But I needed a watercooler picture.

Also, check out this accomplishment: 5-15 in the 4 through 8 seed lines, 1-7 in the 8-9 and 7-10 games in my office pool. I think that tops my Shoe-in of the Week misses in terms of odd-defying miscalls.

Zuch 1:44 PM  

I have little place to talk, as both my mom and Bechtel's mom would be beating me, but your opening round performance Vinnie would be the worst I have seen in my eight years of running the pool.

Patrick 11:11 AM  

Yeah but Zuch, since Thursday, I think I may have won 5 games total. While my Louisville pick is still alive, the rest of the bracket blows

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