In the latest edition of "Manny being Manny," Red Sox star right fielder Manny Ramirez got into a heated brouhaha with team traveling secretary Jack McCormick which resulted in McCormick being shoved to the ground. Team officials stated that this stemmed from McCormick's inability to produce the "goods" for Manny's family and friends during the recent trip to Houston.
As a result, Red Sox officials are inquiring about the availability of current Yankee George Costanza, assistant to the team's traveling secretary. "We think Costanza is ready for the show," said Red Sox GM Theo Epstein. "I mean this guy has an uncanny ability to come up with new, original ideas. Who would have thought of cotton uni's until Costanza mentioned it to Showalter? And let's not forget about his extending the bathroom stalls at Yankee Stadium to the ground!"
While George Costanza is a "can't miss" hire for the Red Sox, there are still lingering effects of the gay-photo shoot that Costanza was involved in. "We can't worry about the past, we can only look to the future" said Epstein.