Marquette 81, Wisconsin 76

>> Saturday




Suckersssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.


(courtesy of the Onion?)
You Will Suffer Humiliation When The Sports Team From My Area Defeats The Sports Team From Your Area.
As you can see from the calendar, the game is coming up this weekend. I'm sure you are as excited for it as I am, as our cities are rivals and have been for quite some time. Your confidence in your team is high, but rest assured, you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area.

On numerous occasions, you have expressed the conviction that your area's sports team will be victorious. I must admit that every time I hear you make this proclamation, I react with both laughter and disbelief. "Ha!" I say to myself with laughter. "What?!" I say to myself in disbelief. How could you believe that your sports team could beat my sports team? It is clear that yours is inferior in every way.

When the sporting contest begins, the players on your team will be treated as though they are inconsequential. It will be remarkably easy for my team to accumulate more points than yours. There are many reasons for this, starting with the inferior physical attributes of the players representing your area. Strength, speed, and agility are just three of the qualities that the players on the team from your area lack. The players representing my area, on the other hand, have these traits in abundance.

Underscoring your team's inferiority is its choice of colors. It is ludicrous to believe that your team's colors inspire either respect or fear. Instead, they appear to have been chosen by someone who is colorblind or, perhaps, bereft of sight altogether. The colors for my team, on the other hand, are aesthetically pleasing when placed in proximity to one another. They are a superior color combination in every way.

While we are on the subject of aesthetics, let us compare the respective facilities in which our teams play. While my team's edifice is blessed with architectural splendor and the most modern of amenities, yours is a thoroughly unpleasant place in which to watch a sporting contest. I know of what I speak, for I once attended a game between our respective teams in your facility. Let's just say the experience left me wishing that my car was inoperable that day due to mechanical problems, rendering it impossible for me to get to your area to attend the game.

If you need another reason why the sporting franchise representing my area is superior, look no further than the supporters for the two sides. Not only are the supporters of the team from my region more spirited, but they are also more intelligent and of finer breeding than you and the rest of your ilk. In addition, the female supporters of the team from my area possess more attractive countenances and figures than yours. Some of the women from my side that I have observed could make a living by posing for pictures for major men's magazines. The women who cheer for your team, I'm afraid, are far too unattractive to do so.

One of the more pathetic aspects of the team from your area is the fact that only people in your immediate area possess an affinity for it. By means of contrast, the team from my area inspires loyalty and affection in individuals who live in many other geographic locations.

To illustrate this point, let me tell a brief story: Recently, I was on vacation in an area of the country far away from my own, and I saw many individuals wearing items of clothing that bore the insignia of my team. I approached one such individual and asked him if he originated from my area. He said no, explaining that he simply liked the team from my area and had for many years. Interestingly enough, during this trip, I saw no clothing or other paraphernalia bearing the insignia of your team.

Do you still doubt that the team from your area is inferior to the one from mine? Just look at our teams' respective histories. In the past, we have defeated you on any number of occasions. Granted, there were times when your team beat my team, but those were lucky flukes.

The day of the game will soon be at hand. And no matter how hard you pray to a higher power or how many foam accoutrements you wear in support of the team from your area, your team will be defeated. We will win and you will lose. This is your fate.

Prepare for humiliation. It shall be upon you at the designated hour.

7 comments:

Matt 9:25 PM  

Watching this game with my old man (a devout Badgers fan - he's allergic to exciting basketball) was an amazing, expletive-filled adventure. If any of the refs from this game turn up missing in the next week, let's just say I know where to start looking.

Mike 10:17 PM  

Player Fouls called
Marquette- 23
Wisconsin- 19

I'm just saying...

Patrick 11:00 AM  

Now, I wasn't able to watch the whole game, but from what I saw, Marquette should have won this game by at least 15 if it weren't for ridiculously lucky 3-point baskets by the Badgers. Wisconsin could not, for the life of them, stop Marquette from penetrating into the paint and getting a layup on every other possession.

If anything, Marquette got crapped on with player fouls in the second half...10 fouls in 6 minutes, are you kidding me?

Good win in the Kuhl Center (might be the toughest place to play except Durham), and it should have been by a lot more.

Secondly, I was very surprised that Wisconsin had won 7 of the last 9 meetings until yesterday...I would have thought it was more even than that

Mike 3:10 PM  

1998: UW wins in Milwaukee (by 16)
1999: UW wins in Madison (by 12)
2000: UW wins in Milwaukee (by 5)
2001: UW wins in Madison (by 13)
2002: MU wins in Milwaukee (by 9)
2003: UW wins in Madison (by 4)
2004: MU wins in Milwaukee (by 9)
2005: UW wins in Madison (by 13)
2006: UW wins in Milwaukee (by 4)
2007: MU wins in Madison (by 5)

Things to keep in mind. Tom Crean's first game at the helm of the Warrior bench was 1999. So while UW has won 7 of the last 10 meetings, 3 of those victories were by 5 points or less, and ALL three close MU losses came in the Tom Crean era.

Just for comparison's sake, MU and UW's final records in those seasons. MU-winning-seasons are bolded

Year (MU)(UW)
1998 (14-15)(22-10)
1999 (15-14)(22-14)
2000(15-14)(18-11)
2001 (26-7)(19-13)
2002(27-6)(24-8)
2003 (19-12)(25-7)
2004(19-12)(25-9)
2005 (20-11)(19-12)
2006 (23-8)(30-6)
2007 (6-1)(6-2) as of 12/9/07

Mike 3:14 PM  

Likewise, despite UW winning 7 of the last 10, the last 6 meetings are evenly split 3-3.

Danny's Gentile Roommate,  7:09 PM  

Great image with Bucky in the Marquette sweater is great.

Danny's Gentile Roommate,  7:12 PM  

Don't comment while watching a "Monk" marathon, or the above comment happens. Either way, nice image.

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