Fun with the Mitchell Report: A handwriting expert weighs in

Adam Piatt: "I am really proud that my last name starts with P."

Adam Riggs: "When you're not rich, you don't write checks. You send MoneyGram money orders."

Chad Allen: "I don't like to part with my money."

Chris Daniels: "I sign my name with my toes!"

David Segui: "I looooove Asian women. (Note my slanty handwriting. And yes, I'm a huge bigot.)"

Denny Neagle: "I'll never forgive those grammar school teachers for making me write with the right-hand slant even though I'm a lefty."

Fernando Vina: "I love making dollarsssssss____________."

F.P. Santangelo: "I need an official seal to make myself feel important."

Glenallen Hill: "I am one elegant gent."

Gary Bennett: "I am very much an average person in all respects."

Greg Zaun: "Just try to scan this, bitch."

Jason Christensen: "Yeah, when the school marm told me to write with the righty slant, I was all like, "No way, dude.'"

Jason Grimsley: "I like Asian women more than anyone!"

Jeff Williams: "I don't reveal nuthin' to nobody. Eat type-age, chump."

Jerry Hairston: "I get around on bumpy buses."

Jim Parque: "I'm a bad spellor!"

Kent Mercker: "Zero cents? That's a given."

Larry Bigbie: "Someday, I will be a VP of a PR firm."

Paul Lo Duca: "I may be a cheater, but I'm super polite!"

Matt Herges: "Cursive scares me."

Miguel Tejada: "I love cursive... so much so that I use two different styles."

Mike Lansing: "When you're rich, you don't write checks. Etcetera."

Mo Vaughn: "Where's my sandwhich?"