Smoldering Beckage: Winner Pickin'

Last week I was flat out awesome at picking the winners. I went 10-2 last week and didn't pick 3 of the games. I would have, of course, picked the winners of those games, so let's just say I went 13-2 and we'll leave it at that.

Particularly, you're impressed that I picked Tennessee and Green Bay as underdogs to win. No, I didn't say you should be, I said you are.

Also, Vinnie whined about me not including the spreads on my picks. Listen, gaylords, I'm not some fucking asswad from some shitty movie that cares about gambling and point spreads. I'm in the business of picking winners. And my business is good.

This week, there aren't all that many tough calls, so here's where the action is.

Buffalo @ Pittsburgh

Valiant effort last week from the Bills, but the Steelers are going to run on them like Denver did.

Cincinnati @ Cleveland

Cincy beat a good Ravens team last week, the Browns looked like the Browns against the Steelers. Bengals win.

Indianapolis @ Tennessee

Indy's favored by a touchdown at Tennessee, I think the Colts will win and cover the spread (happy, assholes?).

Houston @ Carolina

The Panthers were one of the games I missed on last week. They're better than I thought and although Houston looks better, Carolina's gonna win this one at home.

San Francisco @ St. Louis

The battle of a couple of sleeper teams, neither of whom looked all that good in week one. I like the Rams at home.

Green Bay @ New York Giants

Inexplicably underdogs for the second week in a row, the Packers go and get one on the road against a really banged up Giants team.

Atlanta @ Jacksonville

Both of these teams are a mess right now, although I think the Jags aren't bad enough to lose two in a row to teams they should beat (Full disclosure - if I had more balls, I'd pick the Falcons in an upset, don't be surprised if they steal this one).

Tampa Bay @ New Orleans

The Saints got backhanded by the champs, but I like New Orleans to rebound this week against a Bucs team that's not that good.

Minnesota @ Detroit

This one is a 3 point swing to the home team, which means it's a pick 'em. I like the Vikings on the road, because the Vikes should be able to stop the Lions and sneak some points onto the board (even by accident, if they have to).

Dallas @ Miami

I told you last week that Dallas' pass D scared me, but it won't matter this week. Cowboys win.

Seattle @ Arizona

The Seahawks are just the better team here, and they had a solid effort last week.

New York Jets @ Baltimore

People thought the Packers were going to be that team whose record was deceiving last year that came back to earth this year. I think that's the Jets. The Ravens win.

Oakland @ Denver

Oakland totally flipped on everyone's expectations last week with a good offense and a shitty performance from the D. Denver struggled to beat a team they should have handled, but they'll look solid this week.

Kansas City @ Chicago

This one will probably be ugly. Bears fans are hoping Rex looks good (as he should) this week to calm their nerves. Bears win.

San Diego @ New England

Cheating Cunts squeak past the Bolts, by virtue of being at home.

Washington @ Philadelphia

What a terrible Monday Night Game. Philadelphia beats the skins.