Smoldering Beckage: Redemption

Okay. Wow. Damn. Last week didn't go so well. Man, I mean, seriously. I got smoked on those picks. I went 9-7, which for mortals is plenty well and good, but smoldering it wasn't.

This week I'm back, bay-bee, so stop making those eggs like that, because, well, it sucks! So read on and prepare to make big bucks while you try to figure out what the hell got into Mike Patrick last night with the Britney Spears reference. I mean, like, dag.

Indianapolis @ Houston

Houston's had a nice run the last two weeks, but with Andre Johnson out, the Colts will win this one, they're just too good.

San Diego @ Green Bay

This is a toss up. While it might not be as close as my homerically clouded mind makes it, I still think it's gonna be a toss up.

Also, the Packers win.

Minnesota @ Kansas City

Kansas City's getting the three-point edge at home, but I like the Vikings to cover and win on the road.

Detroit @ Philadelphia

The Lions have had two nice games and Philly's looked rough, but I like the Eagles to get back on track in this one, even with Brian Westbrook a little banged up. McNabb's gotta snap out of it eventually, right?

Buffalo @ New England

The Pats' pain train keeps rollin in this one, they win big.

Miami @ New York Jets

This one's a toss up, New York's getting the standard 3 points at home, and I think the Jets will win this one and will cover (but only in the 4-5 points range, so not for the faint of heart).

San Francisco @ Pittsburgh

While it's a little bit surprising that the Steelers are getting 9.5 against a decent Niners team, the adage is pretty simple: good AFC team beats good NFC team 10 times out of 10. Pittsburgh wins.

Arizona @ Baltimore

This game is like SF/Pittsburgh-lite, the Ravens win.

St. Louis @ Tampa Bay

Could be a good week to see how good each team actually is. I'll be surprised if the Bucs win, so I'm going with the Rams on the road, just because I don't think TB's all that good.

Jacksonville @ Denver

This could be a good game, and will be a very good test for the Jags' run D, which thus far has looked brutal. I like the Broncos at home to cover (3.5).

Cincinnati @ Seattle

If Cincy's D makes Seattle's offense look explosive, then the Bengals are absolutely fucked in the AFC. I think Cincy's the better team here.

Cleveland @ Oakland

What do you mean this one isn't televised nationally?!?!?! Cleveland wins, they seem to suck less.

Carolina @ Atlanta

The Panthers need to bounce back after getting pimp-slapped by Houston. They will, Atlanta's real bad.

New York Giants @ Washington

I like the Redskins here, and you can start the death clock on Tom Coughlin's job (or 2 years ago). He's the first coach to get the axe midseason (and really, why not? The team's fucked anyway).

Dallas @ Chicago

I like the visiting Cowboys in this one, because while the defense isn't all that great, I like them to put up the 17 points needed to beat the Bears.

Tennesee @ New Orleans

Vince Young is magic, (see Zuch's post below) and unless the Saints realize that they need more Duce to win (which they should, by now), the Titans are going to win this one on the road.

And, with that, I bid you adieu to win your fortune. Also, please note that right now I'm watching this movie on HBO. It's even funnier than you'd imagine.