True or false:

"This fine is an appropriate response to the remarks Tyrus made concerning his participation in the slam dunk contest."

Answer: False

Of course, Tyrus Thomas was only telling the truth, and for something as trivial as the friggoty dunk contest, I can't imagine any motivator that would better promote its quality.

But of course, John Paxson, being the uptight, reactionary-type guy he is, had to teach young Tyrus how to be a good, little, submissive basketball player cub. And regretably, Thomas (sort of) obliged with this mealy-mouthed statement, through his agents, plural:

"I truly feel honored to be invited to participate in this year's slam dunk contest during next week's NBA All-Star Weekend in Las Vegas," Thomas said. "The opportunity to represent the Bulls and the city of Chicago on a global stage is a privilege that I do not take lightly. I regret the extent to which my comments indicate otherwise."

At least it's so transparently saccharine that we know he's full of shit. Good work, Tyrus and agents.