Thanks for the check and all, but....

Yea, I was in attendance at Saturday's Marquette-Providence game to watch Dwyane Wade's jersey get retired even though he only suited up for two seasons and hasn't graduated yet. Whatever, besides the point. He's not being honored for passing his philosophy midterm.

And I know that the check being presented is from the Miami Heat organization, but it has Wade's name in the signature space, and it wouldn't be there in Fr. Wild's over-joyed hands (Fr. Wild loves getting huge checks) were it not for Dwyane, so for convoluted and illogical argument's sake, let's say it's from Dwyane.

Now, in the 2006-07 season, Dwyane Wade will be making 3.84 million dollars. Assuming he plays about as many minutes this year as he did last year (2,896), which so far, he is on pace to do so, (38.67 mpg in '05-'06, 39.13 mpg in '06-'07), then Dwyane will pocket a cool $1,325.96 per minute.

Dwyane played 42 minutes in Saturday night's 117-98 victory over the Milwaukee Bucks. Before taxes, that comes out to $55,690.32, making Dwyane's net profit from his day at the Bradley Center about $35,690. In other words, Wade earned back what he had given to Marquette that afternoon in less than 16 minutes.

Disclaimer: Yes, I know Wade is a great person and humanitarian and all that. But this is YCS, and when it comes to Sportsertainment and Satiranalysis, no one is safe.