Back, bay-beeeee?

Scottie Pippen must really be hard up for child support money.

Having said that, I'm not one to tell Scottie whether or not he can still play. Oh wait--yes I am. I watched him in his second stint with the Bulls. And he looked washed-up.

Ok fine--I'm still not one to cast judgment because I'm not an NBA scout. I would suggest watching the video of Sir Charles in that link instead. (Sam Smith, however, disagrees.)

Pippen has been working out in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., during the winter, and he thinks the time is right to add his experience and defensive prowess to a contending club, perhaps in Miami or San Antonio.

Fort Lauderdale? No wonder he thinks he's good. He's been playing against old Jewish guys. But could you imagine him in Miami? Dwyane Wade can:

"I'm already playing with [Gary] Payton and Shaq, two guys I used to play with on video games," Wade said. "To add Scottie Pippen to the mix, that would be crazy."

Crazy. Yes. That's exactly what it would be. The Heat would be the San Francisco Giants of the NBA... even more so. Personally, I hope he goes back to Houston and plays along side Dikembe Mutombo.

In other, totally unrelated retirement news...

I guess we can't make anymore "queer as Foulke" puns. Well, we still could, but they wouldn't be nearly as effective.

Personally, I'm a little bummed to see Keith Foulke go. Not only is it unfortunate when injuries force a good player out too early, but I was always a huge Foulke fan. There's few sweeter sights in baseball than watching a guy mow down hitters with nothing but a fastball and a change.

I was always a huge defender of Foulke's awesomeness, especially when White Sox fans wanted to run his ass outta town for a few memorable blown saves in 2002. He never got enough credit here because, well, he didn't throw hard enough. And in one of Kenny Williams's few senseless trades with the Sox, Foulke was traded for Billy Koch. (Oops.)

And while I still think closers are overrated--and still loathe the "closer" concept in general--Foulke was one of the best, if not the best, for a few years. It's unfortunate that injuries are forcing him to retire because his pitching style could have made him effective well into his forties.

Anyway, no one gives a crap what I think about Keith Foulke. But hey, it's a slow news night. Right now the espn.com front page story is the rookies-sophomores All-Star Weekend game. Yeah.