What Not To Wear

I'm not normally one to play fashion police. After all, most of the contributers to this blog remember me fighting over a pair of jean shorts like a homeless man fighting for a can of Dinty Moore.

But I have to issue a mandate on sports jerseys, because this has been bugging me longer than this blog has existed. If you wear a player's jersey to a game, the player must fall under one of the following categories:

1. Current player on the team (obviously).

2. Legendary player of the team (Robin Yount jerseys never go out of style in Milwaukee).

3. Hilariously obscure former player that makes people say, "I didn't even know they sold his jersey." (Like the Mike Prior jersey I saw at Lambeau Field last year)

But the Bills fan I just saw wearing an Eric Moulds jersey? No. Sorry, but that's not allowed. The guy doesn't play for your team anymore. I realize he spent a decade as a Bill, but he had just four 1,000-yard seasons in that time, which is decent but certainly doesn't give him legendary status. If you don't want to invest in a new jersey (and as a Bills fan right now, you're probably better off saving your money) just wear a team T-shirt or something.

As a rule of thumb though, if the number is not retired, it should not show up at the stadium. Unless I see a Carmen Castillo jersey at Clevelend's pending ALCS appearance...that would be great, and it would be permitted under the hilariously random clause.