Hilarious, hilarious exchange

>> Wednesday

I feel like I should make my first new-format post something substantial. But I should tell you this post will not be substantial.

For those of you who don't know, I recently packed up my massive collection of Star Trek paraphernalia and moved out of my mom's basement into a big boy apartment (but have yet to quit playing D&D and watching the Sci-Fi Channel).

As a result of this leap into adulthood and my cheapskate ways, I am indefinitely without cable and internet. What this means to you readers is that A) my posting on piddling crap has/will not be as frequent (though this post will qualify) and B) I'll be receiving most of my sports 1940s-style--from the newspaper on the morning train ride and through the wonder of radio.

For those of you who don't live in or around Chicago, each Cubs radio broadcast is an event unto its own. The combination of play-by-play man Pat Hughes--one of the most professional, fluent, and insightful guys in the business--and color man Ron Santo--one of the least professional, fluent, and insightful guys in the business and a man whose signature calls are "Yeah...," "Oh, MAAAANN!," and "Geez!!"--creates a magic one can scarcely describe.

Without having heard the duo yourself, it's nearly impossible for me to relay this magic without a good bit of it lost in translation. However, I couldn't help but transcribe this exchange from last night's broadcast, which epitomizes the Hughes-Santo dynamic:

Top six, nobody out, Theriot on first, Lee at the plate, 2-0 count

Hughes: The 2-0 to Lee... Theriot's running... Lee takes... the throw down to second, and he is... out!

Santo [immediately, assuredly]: He was NOT out!!

[few seconds of silence]

Hughes [matter-of-factly]: Theriot went in with a feet-first slide.

Santo [clearly watching the monitor and talking to Hughes alone, forgetting that he's on radio as he's wont to do]: Let me watch that again... See, look... Right there! You can tell that he's in there!

Hughes [composed, as always]: The second base umpire tonight is Scott Barry... No argument on the play from Ryan Theriot...

Santo [defiant]: Yeah... but... Ryan knows he was in there.

Hughes [in stride, used to this sort of thing]: So there's now one down and the bases empty...

Then in the late innings, there was this exchange:

Hughes: There is virtually no wind here in St. Louis tonight.

Santo: Well I'm hoping for no wind, period.

Hughes [baffled]: Are you... ...?

Santo [proud, as if he's said something very clever]: Did you get that? No wind, as in, no win--

Both, in broken unison: W-I-N

Hughes: Sort of a pun there... I see...

Santo: Yeah

[several moments of silence]


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