Bob Roberts has written a true gem for the Cleveland Plain Dealer previewing the US Men's National Team's World Cup Warmup tonight against Venezuela at Cleveland Browns Stadium.
First sentence: The U.S. men's national soccer team, with greater understanding of the predatory habits of the Atlas Lions, is in town.
--What is an Atlas Lion is not explained until the next paragraph. It is an extinct lion and the nickname for Morocco's national team, whom the US lost to on Tuesday.
The match is in Browns Stadium, which might not be the best of venues for a team struggling to score goals. The landlord Brownies finished last in the NFL in scoring last season.
--What the HELL kind of comparison is that? Roberts should be slapped for even thinking this, much less printing it.
At times, the U.S. players did appear slow to the ball. When they did get to it and found themselves in scoring position, they failed to capitalize, either shooting wide, shanking, or scuffing their shots.
--Is Yogi Berra writing this article? I think what Roberts means to say is "When they took shots, they missed them, they either went high, wide, or were stopped by the goalie." Only a guy whose formal name is Robert Roberts could be so repetitiously redundant.
His (US Captain Claudio Reyna's) target (for return from injury) is that June 12 date in Gelsenkirchen with the Czech Republic. There is always a large stein of Bavarian brew to make you forget you even have a hamstring.
-- I'm just going to ignore the grammar and weak ending of this article in its last sentence. That being said, while I have no doubt that the Bavarians export their beers, Roberts should take note that Gelsenkirchen is in North-Rhine Westphalia, in far western Germany, and the Bavaria region is in southeast Germany. If this level of geographic confusion were applied to our own country, it would be like me saying that I couldn't wait to get to Denver for some hurricanes, jambalaya and gumbo.