What a country we live in... I tell ya

As I've lived without cable for the past month, the ESPN phenomenon / self-parody "Who's Now?" had existed entirely in the barbs of friends and bloggers until last night, when I caught the final results on the late SportsCenter. The announcement, disappointingly, was not the comedic, drawn-out affair I'd expected, but it was enough for me to lose respect for the following people: Tiger Woods for releasing an official statement thanking the fans for the "honor" and congratulating ESPN on the "cool" feature, Michael Wilbon (for whom my respect has long waned) for offering post-result commentary, and the handful of athletes and entertainers (Brady Quinn, LT, Jeff Gordon, Common, a few others I'm forgetting) for offering their pick of "Tiger" or "LeBron" to the ESPN cameras.

As for the 370,000+ people who dignified this farce with a vote, I am disgusted. That's 370,000 people that actually vested some interest--which is far, far too much interest--in the outcome of "Who's Now?" Piggybacking the whole "more people vote for American Idol than for the president" thing, only 205,000 people, by comparison, voted in the 2006 Alaska gubernatorial election. Granted, I'm comparing a population of 600,000 to the Xmillion people who watch ESPN daily, but still. Granted also, it's far easier to vote via online poll or text message or whatever ESPN used than to show up at a polling place, but still. Granted also, getting to a polling place in November in Alaska requires ten sled dogs and an Eskimo guide, but still.

And last of all, to the thousands of bloggers who've spent countless minutes of your short existence angrily ripping the "Who's Now?" segment--especially those of you joining the parade at the very end when the issue has long been beaten into the ground--I am most disgusted with you. You should seriously all go hang yourselves.