Godspeed, Old Friend
>> Thursday
In what's got to be the saddest story you'll hear about today, I have an announcement to make.
Brace yourself.
My '91 Buick Regal is dead. Kaput. Game over. Donezo.
I am crushed.
Man, that car had character, know what I mean? Seriously, that Jaeger sticker someone put on the rear window at a Brewers game? Awesome. The Feingold '04 bumper sticker? Pure class.
In addition to character, the car had:
-broken, or "floating" steering wheel
-non-functional turn signals
-non-functional odometer
-slightly cracked rear left strut
-non-functional gas gauge
-broken trunk lock
-broken hood release handle
-non-existent side view mirrors
-the way it sounded like a diesel engine while idoling
-would simetimes shut off if you shifted from reverse to drive "too fast"
-that creaking noise, you know the one
Despite withstanding all this, the ol' gal couldn't withstand a cracked head gasket. Like so many of us, she's gone before her time.
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12 comments:
So long to "The Ole' Warhorse." I remember my first encounter with the grit, heart, and moxie this fine automobile possessed, when Matt and I were going to go see "Miracle" (and it was totally not in a gay way), backing out of the garage, the passenger-side rear view mirror snapped off like a piece of overcooked bacon. As I informed Matt of the problem, his solution was "put it in the trunk."
Heart of a champion.
Many a ride in the ole Mattmobile, I'll be very sad to see it go.
NOOOOO! The end of the Regal is truly the end of an era in all our lives and in Miller Park history. How I'll miss the way I eased into the back seat, always careful not to rupture one of the half-dozen bottles of Matt's chew spit with an errant step. (Wait a second... How's that gonna change with your next vehicle?)
I wish I could be there when the crush it to a cube. I'd even learn how to play "Taps."
This is truly a sad day indeed. I'm one of the fortunate few who had the privilege of driving the Mattmobile on occasion, experiencing all of its half-broken glory firsthand. It will surely be missed.
Good news: an heir to the Mattmobile fortune has been discovered.
A '94 Chevy Astro Van. I'm going to be a van guy.
B-E-A-utiful.
Not quite time to jump into this decade, huh?
Regardless, a van would be phenomenal for Miller Park tailgates.
I think you almost need to lop off the side mirrors automatically, just on principle.
As soon as I can get some curtains for the windows, I'll be in business.
"That van's a rockin'!"
"Don't go a knockin'!!"
Hahahaha... a minivan? Are you gonna keep it stocked with juice boxes and hand-held video games?
Very interesting...Seems that Matt has a history of taking side rear view mirrors off of cars. A road trip involving a certain 2003 silver Chevy Monte Carlo side mirror comes to mind. I believe it met the same fate when Matt was pulling out of a parking garage during that trip. I hope that the Chevy Astro van will fare better.
Oh, mom! You mispelled my name! That hurts worse than the time you missed my big recital!
(For the record, I just made that up.)
My most vivid memory of the Mattmobile was when Bechtel and I went to see the Jack Bauer movie starring Jack Bauer, produced by Jack bauer, and inspired by jack Bauer.
Man will I miss the good ole days of seeing that Feingold '04 bumper sticker.
Here's to the tyhe New ('94) Astro Minivan....
My car also used to have a John Kerry bumper sticker on it, but my dad ripped it off in a fit of rage, then I think he called me a fag.
Also, Vince, that's just proof that your mom doesn't love you and is trying whatever she can to disassociate herself from you.
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