Yellow Chair Sports: Kind of Legitimate Journalism Feature: Live at The 2016 Olympic Rally

So today the City of Chicago set up a huge rally or what-have-you at Daley Plaza (Conveniently 2 blocks south of my office) to celebrate winning the US bid for the 2016 Summer Olympics (and Paralympics, everyone on stage stresses).

It was largely just the Illinois pols sitting around having a collective wank and patting each other on the back about how great they were, but here were some highlights.

-Elevated platforms featuring two judo wrestlers fighting, but only one fencer just lunging and stabbing at the air. Couldn't afford an opponent for her? Also a rythmic gymnastic person with a rope doing all sorts of crazy shit. She's limber. Empty fourth platform. I'm guessing the uneven bars didn't arrive on time.

- Live big band playing Olympic anthems like "Dude Looks Like a Lady" and the completely original "Sweet Home Chicago" and "My Kind of Town."

- Former Chicago Bulls Public Address announcer Ray Clay as Master of Ceremonies. Actually said "Aaaaaaand now! The Mayor of Chicago! The Honorable! Rrrrichard! M! Daley!!!" No joke.

- Mayor Daley using the occasion to give us all a piece of his mind on a range of issues wholly unrelated to the Olympic bid. Some appropriate (moment of silence for Virginia Tech victims), others not so much (Talking about how Chicago won the bid based on performances of athletes in the 1930s. What the hell is he talking about?)

- Mayor Daley giving political shout-outs to his peeps in Union labor, the Black community, and the business community. No shout-outs to the mob though, which is strange, seeing as they help Da Mare win re-election and will be integral components in the construction of all the stadiums.

- Mayor Daley YELLING into the microphone, sounding surprisingly pissed despite it being a victory celebration.

- A guy holding up his dog wearing a Chicago 2016 sweatshirt. The dog, not the guy. I'm sure Fido just loved that.

-Guy holding up "Athens 2004" sign. I'm pretty sure it wasn't a political statement. Hey, he's only 10 years late and 5,440 miles off from their rally.

- The conspicuous absence of the usual lunchtime fare in Daley Plaza, the guy who stands on the corner with a sign that reads "Mayor Daley: The Dictator, FBI, STOP raping my wife!!!"

- Jack Ryan, CEO of the Chicago 2016 Committee standing up and giving a speech that no one really listened to (this pseudo-journalist left 2 minutes in to get back to continue selling out to the man).

- Rod Blagojevich showing up and standing in the background. Barack Obama too. I guess they spoke later.

- Overuse of stereotypical wishy-washy Olympic speech terms like "the spirit of the people" and "We are all Olympians" that make most rational people want to vomit.