I Honestly Don't Know Why Anyone would take the Kentucky Job

SI.com unintentionally details why no one should take the position in Lexington. My favorites are below. I'll let Zuch handle the recruiting stuff.

There goes Kentucky's Plan A.
Three-time National Champion head coach of your basketball rival, including the last two national titles. Yikes. There's nowhere to go but down from here.

Billy Donovan's decision to remain at Florida rather than take the vacant head coaching job at Kentucky leaves the field for Tubby Smith's replacement wide open, with names from all over the college basketball landscape finding their way into the rumor mill.
Mostly because they're rumors. If here on Yellow Chair, we write "we have inside sources deep inside the Lakers who refused to be named on the record, that Phil Jackson is polishing up his resume and is considering taking the Kentucky job," who's there to say we're wrong? And that might be just enough to get it into the rumor mill.

Barnhart issued a statement on Thursday asking for patience during the hiring process.
Good luck getting patience from Kentucky fans. See point below in blue.

"We have had productive conversations with various individuals over the last two weeks, and it's obvious that there are a number of outstanding coaches who could succeed at Kentucky," Barnhart said. "I'm confident we'll find the right man."
We had all our eggs in one basket. (Chomp) Oops.

Donovan, a former Kentucky assistant under Rick Pitino, was considered the school's first choice to take over college basketball's all-time winningest program. Donovan's ties to the school's Renaissance under Pitino and his up-tempo style of play made him an appealing pick for one of the nation's most ardent fan bases.
Just replace the words "ties to the school's Renaissance under Pitino" to "National Championship Rings," the word "appealing" to "auto-erotically gratifying" and "ardent" to "insane, unrealistic, and overdemanding."

Barnhart received permission to talk to Donovan late Wednesday night, but by Thursday morning Donovan had decided to stay at the school where he's won back-to-back national championships.
As opposed to going to a school that practically demands back-to-back national championships.

Whoever Barnhart hires will have to stabilize a program that's struggled -- by its lofty standards -- over the last few years.
Struggled? 6 SEC East Division titles won either outright or tied for out of the last 8. 7 regular season conference championships in the last 13. Only at Kentucky does that constitute "struggling."

Kentucky hasn't made it to the Final Four since winning the national championship in 1998, the longest drought between national semifinal appearances in school history.
Only 9 years since you've been to the Final Four? Cry me a fuckin' river. There was that one time that you had only lost 1 game all year before the Elite 8. What happened to that team? Oh yea, now I remember.

The Wildcats went 22-12 this season, losing to Kansas in the second round of the NCAA tournament and have lost at least 10 games in four of their last eight seasons.
Dear prospective UK coaches,
Aside from the fact that this also means they've lost less than 10 games in 4 of the last 8 seasons, at most other schools (perhaps even your current one), this is considered a banner year. At Kentucky, it's total failure. Geez, no wonder coaches get run out of town there.

Smith's departure opened the door for center Randolph Morris, who signed a free-agent contract with the NBA's New York Knicks the day after Smith left for Minnesota. Morris was eligible to sign with an NBA team under a rule in the Collective Bargaining Agreement that made him a free agent when he wasn't selected during the 2005 NBA Draft.
Man, this really isn't related to the rest of the article at all. Good close, SI.