Important News of the Week: Bechtel's Fantasy Team Spared from Madden Curse

In perhaps the biggest story of the NFL offseason, EA sports announced this week that the much anticipated Madden 2008 cover boy will be Titans QB Vince Young and not, as many assumed, RB LaDainian Tomlinson from my fantasy football team (which, you may have heard, was runner up in our league thanks to some adept personell decisions* by its brilliant owner who then proceeded to win $40 and blow it on booze within like a day).

Sources say the "Madden Curse," the effects of which have been seen on past cover athletes Eddie George, Marshall Faulk, Daunte Culpepper, Mike Vick, Ray Lewis, Donovan McNabb and Shaun Alexander had little or nothing to do with the apparently sensible and rational Tomlinson. Instead, they just didn't offer dude enough cash. LT don't punk for nobody, EA sports, so take your torn ACL and shattered patellas elsewhere unless you wanna pony up the dough.

So, the moral of the story, I'm gonna win our fantasy league this year because my hall of fame running back in pretty much the prime of his career isn't going to be cursed this year. Also, who wants to trade me a wide receiver? Seriously, I got like Driver and that's it.

*"adept personell decisions" = drafting LT 2nd overall and then coasting to the championship game