Showing posts with label bad writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad writing. Show all posts

News and Notes and Half-Stories

>> Tuesday

In the past few days I've seen a number of postings, read a few articles, and heard commentators ranging from Sports Illustrated to the Wall Street Journal opining on the early season dominance of dome teams, in particular, the undefeated starts for the Vikings, Colts, and Saints. They say that the Domes are giving them the advantage. I could argue that Brett Favre, Peyton Manning, and Drew Brees might have something to do with it as well.

So, before anyone gets carried away on a "Dome-inant" headline pun-writing bonanza, I'd like to point out that the Rams are winless, the Lions are 1-5, and the Cardinals, Cowboys, and Texans are either .500 teams or just a hair better.



Jay Mariotti on Around the Horn this afternoon claimed Yankee Stadium was a "Cathedral of Baseball" despite the stadium only being open for the past six and a half months. Given this standard, one can only conclude that Great American Ballpark is a wonder of the ancient world.

Seconds later he was given a shaving cream pie by my friend Frank from Section 8 Chicago, who works as a program coordinator at ESPN in Chicago. The revolution is coming.

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Most Shameless Product Placement Ever

>> Saturday

In an article on MLS's official website about the arrival of 2,000 Toronto FC fans in Columbus for today's Toronto FC-Columbus Crew game.

"As the late March tailgate party raged outside the stadium and Sierra Mist and Budweiser flowed like water, storm clouds from threatening early spring showers and thunderstorms loomed on the horizon."

Sierra Mist happens to be the league-wide soft drink sponsor.

Budweiser happens to be the league-wide beer sponsor.

Cha-ching. I wonder if the fans all drove home in their Volkswagens and painted their houses with Glidden paint after stopping off at Dick's Sporting Goods.

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We Might Have a Winner for Dumbest Story of the Day

>> Wednesday

Steelers to wear white for Super Bowl.

Psssh. I can't believe they're wearing white. They've played with a loooooooooot of football teams if you catch my drift.

The author tries to draw a parallel between Pittsburgh wearing white in Super Bowl XL despite being the "home team" because Pittsburgh that year was a wild card and had won all three of their playoff games on the road.

This year, Pittsburgh played two playoff games at home, and Arizona is the "home team" so they got to pick. So the Steelers didn't pick white because they thought it was lucky again. The will wear it because they have to.

Long story short. Aside from the color of the Steelers' shirts, the parallels between the jersey selection process for Super Bowl XL and XLIII end there.

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(Humming 'Dueling Banjos' as I Write This)

>> Sunday

A columnist for Georgia's Gwinnett Herald writes in an oddly titled piece that "The South Needs MLS." MLS has recently announced plans to expand to Seattle in 2009, and Philadelphia in 2010. Another round of expansion by two teams is likely to follow in 2011; with the leading candidates being St. Louis, Portland, Ottawa, Vancouver, Miami, Montreal, and New York City (Queens). The closest MLS presently gets to the South is Washington, DC, Columbus, Ohio, and then a whole lotta nothing between there and Houston. Note lack of Southeastern cities' interest.

The writer then shows why Commissioner Don Garber is calling the shots, and he's writing for Atlanta's version of the Daily Herald. The entire piece seems motivated only by the author's desire to personally have a team, yet he almost goes out of his way to show why the region doesn't deserve one.

First off, let's deal with the poor wording of a headline. As far as TV ratings go with a national TV contract, MLS needs the South more than the South appears to need MLS.

Our writer says that he lived in Europe for a while and would love to get swept up in that soccer culture again by having his own team. My response is..."What soccer culture"? The SEC is one of only two BCS-level NCAA conferences that doesn't offer a championship in Men's Soccer (The Big XII is the other). I think that's due to several reasons, one being the cultural prominence of football and the region's success at the college level and bringing up a wealth of successful players from Florida to Texas and everywhere in between. There may also still be a cultural stigma attached of regular, normal, southerners not wanting anything to do with a pansy sport like kickball with all its fer'n'rs and queer-o-sexuals.

He also points out the notorious fair-weather fans in Atlanta, and even more specifically, points out the two failed attempts for MLS to place teams in the South, in Tampa and Fort Lauderdale in the early years of the league and how it was pretty much an abysmal failure. Again, not that surprising.

He thinks a team would work well in Carolina (and to an extent I agree with him there), but he offers Greensboro as a possible site. There we part ways. Now, I can't speak from experience because I've never been to Greensboro, but perhaps that should be telling as to Greensboro's drawing power as a city.
He thinks a Carolina team (in Charlotte, Greensboro, or Raleigh) would do well to market themselves as "the Southeast's team" much like the Atlanta Braves have done. He makes this suggestion apparently unaware of the vast difference popularly, financially, and culturally between MLB and MLS. Case in point; the Red Sox are arguably a "regional team" representing all or most of New England. Same with the New England Revolution. Fenway sells out every night. The Revs have trouble drawing more than 15,000 to games.
Personally, I think that St. Louis and Miami are probably the next two to get in, but think St. Louis and Portland (and maybe Montreal) probably most deserve to get in. We'll probably see it announced either at the Board of Governors Meeting at MLS Cup in November, or before the MLS Draft in January in St. Louis, which I will be covering for YCS.

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As half of YCS opens fire

>> Wednesday

According to SI's tease, it reads "Find out why so many people hate the Cubs." Now, after growing up in a family of White Sox fans, going to college in Milwaukee and law school in St. Louis, I was expecting to see some pretty familiar arguments as to why others think the Cubs are the scum of the earth. The article was probably going to stretch on and on for pages and pages. This is the only part of the articlethat approaches criticism.


Seriously, how could you not love the Chicago Cubs?
Well, as it turns out, there are a lot of ways. You could grow up on the Southside of Chicago, where Cubs fans are viewed as a whole tribe of spoiled Ferris Buellers. You could be a St. Louis Cardinals fan raised to believe the Cubs are only cute and cuddly to the people who see them from afar. You could be from the greater Milwaukee area, only two hours north of Chicago, where maybe you have had the whole lovable Cubs thing rammed down your throat all your life to the point of bursting.

In other words, the Cubs are hated by fans of their rivals.
There's one other reference to a Cardinal fan who thought Ryne Sandberg was the Devil. The rest of the article is how the Yankees and Red Sox might not be in the playoffs this year and how it's hot in the Midwest (surprise) in the summertime. Hard-hitting journalism over there at SI.

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I'll bet that sounded really good in your head

>> Monday

From a Steven Davis mlsnet.com article on the dismissal of LA Galaxy's coach Ruud Gullit, who previously coached in Europe, but like many European coaches, found the unique parity-driven nature of MLS fundamentally different, and challenging...



"But that's not the way in MLS, where salary caps and other player acquisition mechanisms are set to keep the playing field, if not completely level, then pretty close to it. Major League Soccer will never be an EPL, a Serie A or La Liga, where two, three or four teams bully the competition and perennially dominate the hardware. There will be no Chelsea, Man United, AC Milan, Barcelona or Real Madrid here. Baseball might work that way in this country (Hello, Yankees. What's up, Red Sox?), but this obviously isn't baseball."

Ignoring the phrase "Hello, Yankees. What's up, Red Sox?"...

EPL Champions since 1998: Different Championship teams: 3
'08: Man United
'07: Man United
'06: Chelsea
'05: Chelsea
'04: Arsenal
'03: Man United
'02: Arsenal
'01: Man United
'00: Man United
'99: Man United
'98: Arsenal

Italian Champions since 1998- Different Championship teams: 5
'08: Inter Milan
'07: Inter Milan
'06: Inter Milan*
'05: No Champion**
'04: AC Milan
'03: Juventus
'02: Juventus
'01: Roma
'00: Lazio
'99: AC Milan
'98: Juventus

* Juventus finished atop the table, Inter Milan finished second. Juventus was stripped of the title for their role in the Italian Match-fixing scandal, and it was awarded to Inter.

** Juventus finished atop the table, AC Milan finished second, and Inter Milan finished third. Juventus and AC Milan were both found guilty in the Italian Match-fixing Scandal, so no championship was awarded.

Spanish Champions since 1998- Different Championship teams: 4
'08: Real Madrid
'07: Real Madrid
'06: Barcelona
'05: Barcelona
'04: Valencia
'03: Real Madrid
'02: Valencia
'01: Real Madrid
'00: Deportivo
'99: Barcelona
'98: Barcelona


MLB Champions since 1998: Different Championship teams: 7 (potentially 8)
'08: TBD
'07: Boston
'06: St. Louis
'05: Chicago White Sox
'04: Boston
'03: Florida
'02: Anaheim
'01: Arizona
'00: New York Yankees
'99: New York Yankees
'98: New York Yankees




7 different championship teams in 10 years. Yea. That's really "two, three or four teams perennially dominating the hardware."

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Side-By-Side Comparison

The introduction paragraphs to the Sox-Angels game last night in today's Chicago Tribune, penned by Dave van Dyck.


"Carlos Quentin hit a pair of home runs Sunday night, including the game-winner to lead off the bottom of the ninth inning, as the White Sox avoided a sweep and
finished a short homestand by winning four of six games. Quentin's second shot gave the Sox a 3-2 victory over the Angels in a game that took only 2 hours 5 minutes and made them winners for the ninth time in 11 games."

Who, When, What, Where, and How all answered succinctly, and with enough context to give the reader some backstory. The Sox won a dramatic victory with a bottom of the ninth home run to end a short slide and get back to their winning ways. Compare to Phil Rogers' same opening paragraphs for the Cubs-Pirates game.

"Earth to Alfonso Soriano, come in please. Earth to Soriano...Earth to Soriano...report in please. About the only thing that didn't happen to the Cubs over the weekend at PNC Park was an alien abduction, and the persistent misadventures of Soriano left you wondering if the sun was the only thing in his eyes. Perhaps Soriano was distracted by a beam from a hovering spacecraft, which messed with his internal wiring, at the very least. Maybe he was switched with a clone, although he did look like his old self for one moment in Sunday's 6-5, 11 inning loss to the Pittsburgh Pirates."

Basic story information replaced with a dated "Earth to" joke, extraterrestrials added to the list of things blamed for a Cubs loss other than the players , and suspicion of human cloning of outfielders with mixed results.

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