Bill Maher Lucky Not to Get a Super Testosterone-Infused Knuckle Sandwich

(A weaker man would have stooped to a "Maher"/"mar" play on words.)

If you missed Jay Leno last night (1. You did; I know. 2. I never watch Leno; I don't know what compelled me last night), you missed Floyd Landis making another public denial of cheating during le Tour de France.

First of all, this interview was hilarious--not because anyone said anything particularly funny, but because Leno was horrendously unresearched on the issue and kept mis-stating major details, on which Landis continually corrected Jay.

But the worst part of the interview occured when buttinsky professionale Bill Maher--Leno's first guest--butted in mid-interview to say the most pompous and all-around prick thing one could say in that situation. Grinning his trademark I'm-the-funniest-man-in-the-world-aren't-I? grin, he asked, "Why are we having this big controversy about a sport that nobody even cares about?"

Now, if any of us were Landis, we probably go off on Maher--with fists, with insults, with pottymouth, or any combination thereof. Remember, Maher is sitting but two short feet to his right.

But Landis, evidently, is a better man than we. He somehow kept his cool and redirected the whip toward Jay, saying, "Well, it's hard for Jay to book better guests."

Floyd Landis--for that remarkable display of control (and wit) in the face of that level of piss-in-your-mouth insult, I respect you more now than I did yesterday and furthermore, will now give you every benefit of the doubt in your fight against doping charges.

As for Bill Maher--you are a piece of crap, just as you were yesterday and just as you will be tomorrow, only even more so now. And if Floyd Landis ever snaps, I'd like to see you try and run from that bike of his (or from his car, as I assume Landis can also drive and purchase firearms).