Krukie Kwotes

We've been known to be a bit "edgy" on this blog in the past, but I know one thing: None of us would ever be so callous as to make fun of a cancer survivor sharing his thoughts on a remarkable accomplishment by a fellow cancer survivor.

...Until today. Unfortunatey, I cannot 100% confirm this quote to be verbatim because I'm going off memory, but I assure you the meaning is accurate. John Kruk, last night on BBTN had this to say about the significance of Jon Lester's no-hitter:

"There are people out there with cancer who now believe they'll beat the illness because of what Jon Lester did tonight."

[Monday night, cancer ward, Massachusettes General Hospital]
TV announcer: ...the two-strike pitch to Collaspo... He did it! A no-hitter for Jon Lester!
Doctor: How about that? A no-hitter.
Patient: [elated] You know what this means doc?!
Doctor: The Sox picked up a game on the Rays?
Patient: No, I'm cured!!!!!
Doctor: Cured?
Patient: Cured!
Doctor: Remember this afternoon when I said you'll need at least ten more years of treatment, and even then you'll be lucky to live past 50?
Patient: But Jon Lester threw a no-hitter! And he had cancer! I'm cured!!!! [leaps out of bed, pirouettes, sprints into the hallway, starts randomly high-fiving nurses, unplugging medical equipment, and guzzling Dixie cups of pills]
Doctor: No... You're not! And you just took a half-dozen diuretics!
Patient: ...Cured cured cured cured...!
Doctor: Nurse--Could you bring a few extra sets of sheets to 306? This lunatic's gonna be pissing the bed all night...