Devin Hester: Not Much of a Son and One Very High-Maintenance Girlfriend

>> Wednesday

On holding out from camp:

"You should pay me like I'm one of a kind,'' Hester said. "It's like dating a girl. When you find somebody who is real special, you're going to do whatever it takes to keep her. You might cut back on what you're giving your mom to give to her. And that's how I feel they should treat me.''

Wow, Devin. Is that what you do to your mother? The woman who bore and bred you? That's disgraceful, skimping on your mom's gifts like that. And for what--to impress some floozy you met at the roller rink?

I know I'd never do that to my mother. I'm a good son. Right, Mom? See, I know my mom reads our blog because she supports me and is proud of what I do, like any other mother. That Tony LaRussa post was hilarious, huh Mom? Devin, you need to realize that your mom is your number-one supporter, and it's not some new squeeze you took out for ice cream a couple times. Your mom deserves nice, thoughtful gifts. Speaking of which--what do you want for your birthday, Mom? Whatever I get, it'll be something real nice, I know that! See, Devin? That's how you treat your mother.

And guys--Don't go dating Devin Hester, even though it seems like a good idea because he's really popular and you think he's cute. He's just a gold-digging hussy who's only out for lemon phosphates and carnival tokens. Go find someone who's nice and sweet and reminds you of your mom. That's my advice.


Matt 1:03 AM  

"Go find someone that reminds you of your mother." Spoken like a true Italian. Danny will also approve.

As would Oedipus.

Vinnie 8:12 AM  

I'd actually intended to use the label "Oedupal complexes" but evidently forgot.

Vin's Mom,  9:07 PM  

Of course, I read this blog and fully support my son because I am an Italian mom (for Matt). Also,I actually heard this quote last night on the news and was taken aback. It may be something you do but not publicly proclaim at least not the way he phrased it. Yes, Vinnie, you are a great son and yes, I did enjoy the Tony La Russa post.

Vinnie 9:17 PM  

My mom: reinforcing the Italian mother stereotype since 1984.

Vinnie 9:18 PM  

Check that: 1981. Almost forgot I had a brother. Sorry, Paul.

Anonymous,  4:24 PM  

how could this post not be tagged with lemon phosphates? You're missing out on a huge audience

Anonymous,  11:44 PM  

Devin's Biological mother was 13 when she had him and he was adopted so maybe his ties aren't that strong and maybe you shouldn't judge!!!

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