Walton: Obama's Performance Horrible

>> Wednesday

Blame Vinnie for starting this series, but Barry Melrose would not be the only sports pundit who has thoughts on Tuesday's primary. Taking some brief time away from focusing on the NBA playoffs, Bill Walton sat down with YCS to give his thoughts on last nights Pennsylvania primary.

"Barack Obama's performance last night can only be characterized as horrible. That deplorable effort in not putting away an overmatched, fatigued Hillary would be terribly unacceptable and not indicative of a future president. Insulting the voters by calling them bitter and clinging to religion would be the worst strategy since our gameplan against N.C. State on that fateful day in 1974. Now, even the great John Wooden had an occasional off day and hopefully Mr. Obama can rebound from this performance and finally deliver that knockout blow in Indiana. We need Mr. Obama to take control of this primary and not allow for John McCain to crawl his way back into this presidential race that the American people want to give back to the Democratic party that deserves this opportunity to take control like the 1986 Celtics did once they acquired my services. I plea to the American people: end this silliness now and unite in our quest to bring about change."

5 comments:

Vinnie 3:50 PM  

If this is anyone but Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit.

Zuch 12:05 AM  

You should be proud that I would emulated such a fine idea (besides, have to justify all that damn CNN I watched last night.) This would be an ode to that random morning where a clearly dope influenced Bill Walton went on an incredible stream of consciousness on Mike and Mike that would later be hackneyed by uncreative writers like myself.

Vinnie 12:33 PM  

Fair enough. But from here on out, I'm reserving the rights to the sports analyst mimicry because--if I may say so myself--I've mastered this art like few others in history. In fact, I just got this idea patented. It's No. 1989747572593013490343. You can look it up. Infringe upon it, and you're breaking federal law.

Anonymous,  5:33 PM  

Hey Vinnie, speaking of ripping off bits, I noticed a couple weeks ago you writing a column on watching the NHL after a few years without. Surprise surprise Bill Simmons writes the same damn column! If he does something about the pope speaking at Yankee Stadium all 3 of us YCS readers will riot.

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