Brian Urlacher Fined for Wearing Inappropriate Hat

Sports Illustrated.com is reporting that Bears MLB Brian Urlacher was fined $100K for wearing a hat during Super Bowl week that featured the logo for Vitamin Water, a sponsor not affiliated with the NFL and the least clever name for a product ever. Apparently, during the season a player can be fined $10K for wearing gear bearing the logo of a sponsor that isn't in cahoots with the NFL and the fine jumps to $50K at the Pro Bowl and $100K during Super Bowl week. It seems ridiculous, but come on, the NFL has some corporate synergy to protect here. Also, they've been taking operational efficiency courses taught by David Stern.

This, of course, is nothing new to either the NFL or the Chicago Bears, as you'll remember that the first time this policy made news was when Pete Rozelle fined Jim McMahon for wearing his adidas headband, with McMahon proceeding to show up to the next game with "Rozelle" written on his headband, a joke Vinnie played into the ground at every intramural game 20 years later. It remains to be seen, however, if Urlacher has the gumption to show up for his next press conference wearing a hat with "Goodell" on it, or if he'll just punk out and pay the fine. That hat would be awesome, by the way. At the very least, he should moon a helicopter or threaten to shake his dick.