A look back on Jay Cutler's possible future with the Bears

Santa Claus is coming to town!

[Before I get rolling, I'd just want to share the "modern technology is amazing, isn't it?" way I heard about the Jay Cutler trade. As I understand it, the news broke at about 3:30pm CST Thursday. At 4:23pm CST, YCS pal Iain sent me a text message across 3,500 miles from his home in Anchorage, AK to my suburban Chicago cubicle--located about 45 miles from the Bears' headquarters in Lake Forest, IL--telling me to "have fun with [my] new QB!" Before I could finish typing my reply, "Cutler???" I heard one of my coworkers yell, "Oh my God!" and then relay the details of the trade to another coworker. After exchanging a couple texts with Iain and glancing through the breaking story on espn.com, I sent Matt (Pack fan) the obligatory braggadocious email at 4:38... just as he was sending me his obligatory "congratulations but you still suck" email. So basically, what would've once taken the Pony Express and a family of Eskimos riding yak-back several years to communicate took just over an hour, and the news was beamed to Alaska and back before it could even reach the proverbial water cooler. I know it makes me sound like I'm 150 years old, but stuff like that makes me smile.]

Let me start by saying--I'm as stoked as anyone about J.C. in a Bears uniform. There are few things I love more in sports than the so-called gunslinging quarterback, and for once, the Bears have one who's tall enough to succeed in the NFL. (You're still the man, Rex!) But if the first few months of Commrade Barack's regime have taught us anything, it's that honeymoons are short-lived and that the executive branch of our government can do pretty much whatever the fuck it wants.

Of course, Chicago sports fans are especially bipolar, with inflated optimism so often and so quickly giving way to a baseline fatalism. In addition, Bears fans are characteristically skeptical of star power on offense, and considering what Jerry Angelo gave up to acquire Cutler--from a team with compromised leverage, mind you--it's conceivable that the Soldier Field crowd could turn on Cutler as soon as next year and highly likely that they will do so at some point within the next five years.

***

November, 2009... It's a dreary Sunday evening in Chicago after a late Jay Cutler interception caps the Bears' third consecutive loss, dropping them to 5-7, effectively ending their playoff chances. Meanwhile, the Denver Broncos, led by a strong defense and the conservative passing attack of Kyle Orton, lead the AFC West with a 9-3 mark.

Ed O'Bradovich: Welcome to the Score, Chuck.
Chuck: Thanks, O'B.... Huge fan. You too, Doug.
Doug Buffone: Thanks, Chuck.
Chuck: I used to love watching you guys play... You played the game the way it was meant to be played.
Doug and O'B. Really appreciate it, Chuck.
Chuck: I tell ya guys... I'm sick over this game today.
O'B.: We know the feeling.
Chuck: I know I'm a little mad right now, but it's just... It's just what the hell did we give up all that to get Cutler for?! What value has this guy brought to the team? He's putting up these big yardage numbers and all these touchdowns, but this guy just doesn't win! Look at what Orton is doing out there in Denver with a good defense. You don't win because you have a quarterback trowin' for 300 yards every game! You need to play defense and run the ball, Doug and O'B.--You know that.
Doug: Totally agree, Chuck.
O'B.: It's always been that way and always will be in this game--The only way you win is if you get up the line of scrimmage, and you hit somebody in the damn mouth!

***

Angelo, Smith out in Chicago
Associated Press
December 30, 2010

The Chicago Bears fired both general manager Jerry Angelo and head coach Lovie Smith today after failing to make the playoffs for the fourth consecutive year.

The primary reasons for the firings, according to team sources, were the failure of Angelo to complement high-priced quarterback Jay Cutler with offensive weapons and Smith's inability to craft a gameplan around Cutler's strengths, a failing that often led to tension on the Bears sidelines.

Marty Schottenheimer, Wade Phillips, and Dennis Green are considered the top candidates to take over Smith's position while rumors continue to swirl that Bill Parcells may be offered a chance to serve in a dual role as both head coach and GM...

***

Chicago Tribune
January 24, 2013
Bears' loss proves Broncos' gain
By Rick Morrissey

As I hover over the smouldering embers of what was once my oak desk to keep warm here in Tribune Tower (since we can no longer afford to turn on the heat), there's only one thing that has me feeling more bitter than the obsolecense of our once-proud newspaper industry. And it's the Bears.

As we come upon Super Bowl XLVIII, I can't help but think of the fateful trade orchestrated by former GM Jerry Angelo in the 2009 offseason and that the core of the favored Denver Broncos--quarterback Kyle Orton, [the three guys drafted with the Bears' 2009 and 2010 picks]--all were once, or could have been, Bears.

Meanwhile, Jay Cutler will be watching the Big Game from a hospital bed as he recovers from his fourth knee surgery in the last two years and contemplates whether he will ever play again...

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Wacky Quarterbacky

(Yes, that title is stupid and doesn't really make sense, but this isn't much of a post, so mind your own business.)

Since I get immense pleasure looking at statistics (like, to the point where they turn me on)--especially really odd ones--I thought it would be fun to revisit some of the hilarious weather-induced passing lines put up by NFL quarterbacks yesterday:

Derek Anderson, CLE: 9-24, 137 yds, 0 TD, 0 INT
Trent Edwards, BUF: 13-33, 124 yds, 0 TD 0 INT
Todd Collins, WAS: 8-25, 166 yds, 0 TD, 0 INT

...and my favorite:

Eli Manning, NYG: 18-52, 184 yds, 1 TD, 0 INT

I think going 18-52 is like the quarterbacking equivalent of the pitcher who gives up 10 ER in 1/3 IP or whatever. The amazing thing isn't that he misfired so many times but that he was asked to continue throwing, despite the terrible success rate.

In all, that's four QBs combining to go 48-134 (35.8%, or 12-33.5 per guy) without a single interception. Wacky! Curious, I called my buddy Joey "Numbers" Mancini over at the Elias Sports Bureau to find out if this has ever happened before. He said, "Whatdya think?!" and then hung up on me, so I figure that means no.

Of course, the funniest passing line of the day had nothing to do with weather, only the 6.5" of suck that fell on Chris Redman's lawn:

4-15, 34 yds, 0 TD, 2 INT, 0.0 RAT

More so than the 0.0 rating, what I find so hilarious about this passing line is that Redman wasn't even pulled from the game. That actually accounts for the Falcons' entire passing output... four completed passes, 34 yards. Good God, the Falcons are awful.

But fear not NFL QBs, one man will atone for all of your poor performances tonight when he makes his long-overdue return to an NFL field and stuns a national TV audience with a masterpiece not seen since Sammy Baugh lit up the Cleveland Rams for 753 yards and 9 TDs in the 1942 NFL championship game (note: may not have happened), and the heavens will sing "Hallelujah," for Kyle Orton is back!

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Rex Gross, Man.

I can only imagine the linguistic atrocities being perpetrated on the English language this morning after the Bears' defeat last night to the Cowboys. Favorite whipping boy Rex Grossman probably shouldn't leave the house today.

And it's not as if he was that bad yesterday, it's just that...okay, you know what? Enough is enough. Grossman's not good. It's pretty much a sure thing at this point. The Bears need to cut bait and play Griese and then draft a young guy (but not Andre Woodson, cuz he'll be good and I hate the Bears).

So, with that, I think we can all pretty much say good night to the Sex Cannon. Being a Brett Favre-like gunslinger is cool and all, but not when you're not trying to throw the requisite touchdowns that need to go with all those fantastically reckless INTs.

Personally, I'm reveling in the pain being felt across Bears nation this morning for one reason: fuck you, Chicago. It's probably over for the Brewers, barring an unprecedented (and, probably unlikely even for the northsiders) collapse, the Cubs are going to take the Central. It's okay, we'll be back next year. But let's get one thing straight, Chicago. You don't do football like Wisconsin does football. The fact that Grossman's (your longest tenured QB since Erik Kramer's 20 straight starts) era is likely at an end has got to sting juuust a little more knowing that number 4 just keeps on rollin.'

So, with that, YCS bids a fond farewell to Grossman. As a Packers fan, I'm obviously disappointed to see him go, and would like to cast my vote for Orton. My reasons are obvious, the NFL just needs more neck bears. Also, let's face it - the only way the Bears can be more boring to watch is by taking away any possibility for big plays. Griese playing basically guarantees that, and that sucks. For Chicago, though, not for me. We've got Favre, remember?

Also, we're 3-0. Eat it, Bearsss.

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Is our Kyle all growed up?

The man whose charm, talent, and wild nights spawned an internet cult and inspired YCS's own Pat to grow a fashionable neck beard seems to have steadied his ways. And he has the guy who's bogarting his reps to thank.

"You won't get me to say a bad thing about Brian," Orton said after Saturday's 20-19 exhibition victory at Houston. "Brian's been the most important person on this team for me, trying to get me through everything. He's helped my game dramatically in the last year and a half. He's a pro. He's taught me how to be a pro and how to approach the game."

While some might lament Kyle's newfound professionalism as the death of the overgrown frat guy who amused us so with his candid moments on film, I applaud him for embracing adulthood--a reality we must all eventually face--and also for being a #1, A+ nice guy. (Really, how many of us could be so gracious toward the guy a notch up on the depth chart?)

It was never Kyle's boozin' that won our affection but rather, his don't-give-a-hell demeanor that kept him even-keel whether he was getting picked off five times by the Bengals or having one of his two-ish good games. So I was very disappointed when I Googled "kyle orton" this morning and the first suggestion on the toolbar was "kyle orton drunk," and the basic "kyle orton" search turned up those famous bar photos. We at YCS (Matt and I at least) rather loathe the TMZ-esque tabloid trash that's given sites like Deadspin their big readership, and we'd rather celebrate our athletes than mock them.

We may be approaching the dawn of a new Kyle Orton era, and I, for one, welcome that with open arms.

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