Showing posts with label Kosuke Fukudome. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kosuke Fukudome. Show all posts

Kosuke--You may have made a terrible mistake

>> Friday

When Kosuke Fukudome first signed with the Cubs, I was a little worried that Chicago, historically one of the more segregated and racially insensitive major cities in the U.S., would not treat his arrival with the tact and maturity expected of human adults--especially playing in front of what is collectively one of the more obnoxious fanbases in sports.

Of course, those worries have proven resoundingly justified. I guess with the combination of being the first Japanese-born player to play for the Cubs and having a last name that kinda sorta sounds like a naughty word, some grade-A crassness was an inevitability. And that's not to say I'm totally innocent.

Having said that, I'd like to think that among our few readers, there's a mutual understanding that none of us think of foreign-born players as novelties, but as fellow intelligent human beings who are to be regarded for their personal qualities and talents. The same can't necessarily be said of a big-budget radio station that reaches people of all demographics within a sixty-mile radius of Chicago.

So I was a little bothered by a sweeper I heard earlier on WJMK (the same radio station that caused a minor ruckus a few months back with Steve Dahl's "Win a date with Drew Peterson" gag). It went something like:

"We're still trying to figure out how to say the Cubs' new Japanese player's last name without getting in trouble with the FCC."

Maybe I'm reading too much into something that's entirely harmless. But I'm gonna guess that no one from the WJMK marketing department spoke to Kosuke to see if he was cool with that. And if I can speculate some more, I'd guess that Kosuke is still struggling to adjust to Chicago and the challenge of finding people he can relate to as he goes about his daily business. On top of that, he doesn't need to put up with publicly being made a punchline and a novelty among a circle that knows nothing about him outside of baseball.

Maybe Kosuke would have had to deal with this crap no matter where he signed, and maybe the more innocent stuff like "You got Fuked!" doesn't bother him. But it also might. At the very least, I don't think any person in any job or any club wants to be recognized principally as "the Japanese guy" or "the chick" or "the old dude." And the more singularly you possess that trait, the more it must suck.

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YCS: Your home for childish mockery of foreign people

>> Saturday

It's time once again for a little segment we like to call,

You Talk Funny!

Today's featured foreign person is Kosuke Fukudome('s translator). When asked how he would help his new team, Fookie gave this confident response that suggests his contribution will be largely supernatural:

"I'm not quite sure yet if I can help this team in any way, but I wish I can bring the good luck to the Chicago Cubs from Japan," he said.

So brash! Then Kosuke offered this misinformed and slightly dangerous take on his name:

"There has been some article about the difficult pronunciation of my last name, 'Fukudome,' " he said. "So I'm comfortable with any nickname anybody comes up with or 'Kosuke,' or whatever floats the boat will be fine for me."

Does, "Fookie" float the boat, Fookie? Good! Then Fookie it is.

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Cubs Announce Plans to Tear Down Wrigley Field

>> Tuesday

And in its place?

The Fuck You Dome.

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"Haha... More like 'Fuck you'-dome! Good one, huh?"

If you haven't heard yet, one of the players the Chicago Cubs are hot on this offseason is Japanese import Kosuke Fukudome, a 30 year-old corner outfielder.

Whuh-oh.

Personally, I'm extremely pleased that the Cubs are taking this risk, rather than, say, offering up big money to an aging CF like Andruw Jones or Torii Hunter (as my nemesis Jim Lynam of Q101, among others, has been touting for a few weeks).

All I'm saying is, this guy--should he sign with the Cubbies--had better be good. And immediately. Or else we may be in for the most repetitive use of an obvious, unfunny slam since Andy Mc"Fail."

"Fukudome" + lack of production + uncreative bleacher bums = hackiness of biblical proportions.

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