"Now when I say 'sportz!' you say 'nutz!'"

>> Friday

"Sportz!" "Nutz!" "Sportz!" "Nutz!"

Ok, so this turned up in our inbox today:
Been looking for a good excuse to reclaim the living room from the toys and sewing machine? Finally got sick of scrounging through your neighbor’s trash to find a couch?

1800® Select Silver Tequila is about to make your day. Visit www.1800tequila.com/mancave and enter for a chance to win $10,000 towards putting together the ultimate ManCave! You can deck out your spot with the sickest new home entertainment system, a game console of your choice, plenty of seating arrangements to keep you comfy and a supply of 1800® Silver Select Tequila within an arm’s reach – the Man Cave is sure to secure poker night at YOUR house, indefinitely. So, stand up to the powers that be and enter daily to for a chance to be the envy of all your buddies.

1800® Select Silver is a new kind of Tequila: 100 Proof, double distilled and blended with a touch of aged tequila. It’s got enough gravitas to impress any true Tequila fan. Try 1800® Select Silver and Change The Game!
You hear that guys? It's time to send Sally upstairs to go hem your golf shirt, tell Junior to pick up his rocking horse and train set, get out the poker chips, call up your buddies, and... margarita night? Tequila shots and blacked out by 8:30?

Whatever, it's ridiculous. Last I checked, most guys don't live in the Patty Duke Show, so I'm not sure where all these intrusive sewing machines are coming from. Also, unless your neighbor has an industrial-sized dumpster for his trash, I'm not sure how scrounging through his trash could turn up an entire couch. And when I think tequila, I think of a poker game that doesn't end up so friendly.

More importantly, this male-fantasy-for-the-male-stereotype nonsense is beyond tired. Besides being an impractical, wasteful celebration of disgusting consumerist glut (which has gone way out of style, if you haven't noticed), this whole "man cave" / "man wall" phenomenon is yet more proliferation of the unthinking, competition-crazed male caricature that should have been put to bed with the cancellation of Home Improvement. Yet, this proves that Tim Taylor lives, along with the all the implicit xenophobia and misogyny built into this bad joke. They even call it a cave for god's sake.

But who am I to argue with the reality that sports fans are an uncouth lot of illiterates who hate to think?


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