Mike's Pre-Emptive Will

I'm not gonna lie, YCS Nation. Things are looking pretty bleak.

As you may know, I'm a big soccer fan, whose second home during the summer is the terraces in the Harlem End of Toyota Park, home of the Chicago Fire. I spend that time amidst the rest of the Fire's "Section 8" Fans, known for their constant support and lunacy for their team.

However, these days, it's pretty dangerous to be a Section 8 member. On Christmas morning 2006, one of our members Dan Parry was struck in his car by a drunk driver. He died as a result of the crash. We honored him at the Fire-Celtic game a week or so ago. He was 33.

A few days later, another one of our members, Brandon "Airman" Kitchens was playing soccer in a local pub league. Suddenly, Kitchens went into a violent seizure with no prior symptoms and ended up dying. He was 24.

On the way back from the funeral, Section 8 members Pattrick and Irish Steve were driving and were T-boned by an SUV. Both survived without major injury, but needless to say, the Section 8 community is a bit rattled.

I am only 23, but the people involved in the above incidents were not much older (or younger) So in lieu of these recent events, along with the large quantity of alcohol and actual things catching on fire around the section, I have determined that my life may well be in grave danger when I go to the Fire's game on Saturday night against Columbus Crew. Since I really should handle my estate, I'm listing the following provisions to be enacted in the event of my death.

To Vinnie...

I leave my Major League Baseball statbook. Recieved as a present for my 10th birthday, it contains all the stats Vinnie could want from the 1993 season. Want to know how many RBIs Will Clark knocked in? Don't mind waiting to flip through the pages instead of going on BR? You'll never be at a loss.

To Danny...
I leave my Burrito Beach frequent buyer card. Buy 12 burritos and you get one free! I already bought 6. You're halfway there!

To Nate...

I leave what's left of my blue and gold facepaint from basketball games in college. There may not be much left, but if you want to make JD a Warrior, you gotta start early.

To Matt...
I've got a couple cans of Icehouse in the fridge. You want 'em?

To Gavin...

I leave my Jacksonville Jaguars hat from grade school. Because to be honest, you're the only person I've ever met who admitted to being a Jags fan.

To Patrick...

I leave my collection of the Cubs' "Vine Line" magazines, to which I had a subscription from 1998 to 2001.

To Zuch...

The remaining stock for the T-shirt enterprise I ran senior year in college. They're all extra large and up, so I think you're the only staff member who could fill them.

To Paul...
What do you give the man who has everything?