Indiana Coaching Search

After the debacle following the reigns of their previous two coaches, there will be one thing I can guarantee has been mandated in this search: Indiana's next coach must be white.

Current leader in the clubhouse, Tony Bennett, had your prototypical white boy game, not to mention his extremely white father Dick Bennett. In fact, being the son of such a crusty older gentleman gives Bennett the boost his age (38) and NBA experiences would have hindered.

Now, should Bennett rebuff Indiana, the next options would most definitely be as white, if not whiter. Former Stanford coach Mike Montgomery, plenty white, what with his failure to reign in those NBA players being a major plus. Lon Kruger would be the slightly younger, but more well traveled version of Montgomery.

In fact, in preparing for this post, I may or may not have overheard the following conversation between the Blue Ribbon Committee and Indiana AD Rick Greenspan:

BRC: "We really like this Anthony Grant fellow, nice success at VCU and great pedigree at Florida, where he played a big part in recruiting the back-to-back national champions. Also, he should be relatively affordable."

Greenspan: "I don't know, I tried making a bold hire with Sampson and we all saw how that ended. Between you guys and I, I feel awfully lucky to still be employed. This Grant character, while likely successful and a good recruiter in all, would upset the old apple cart a bit. A young coach whose team averages more than 70 points a game, we do not want any of that at Indiana."

BRC: "All right, we understand your apprehension here, Grant is a bit inexperienced and all. Okay, we have always been impressed with this Tom Crean guy. An experienced coach, going on a decade at Marquette with a Final Four, recruited multiple NBA players and participated in 5 NCAA Tournaments."

Greenspan: "While this seems to be a good hire, you have to look beneath the surface here. His team plays a little fast for my taste and boy he seems focused on these damn quick players that like to run and dunk. While some fans wanted that James player, I applauded Mike Davis for passing on such a showman like, undisciplined kid that must be an Indiana transplant. He was definitely no Tom Coverdale or Kyle Hornsby, that I can tell you."

BRC: "All right, I guess you spoke with Bo Ryan for advice, so Crean's out. All right, we have one more candidate for you, John Calipari. You had to impressed with what they did the other night, beating your conference rivals like a drum"

Greenspan: All right, stop with this fucking charade. Who in the hell gave you these candidates, and don't they understand what Indiana basketball is supposed to be about. If we want to get back to winning national titles, we need to bring in a coach who recruits fundamentally sound, disciplined players who buy into the Indiana way. These guy have so been lacking in intangibles, it's not funny. Fuck it, you guys are clearly no help, I'm handling this shit on my own."

Personally, my recommendation for your next Indiana coach can be seen in the image on the upper right.

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I Honestly Don't Know Why Anyone would take the Kentucky Job

SI.com unintentionally details why no one should take the position in Lexington. My favorites are below. I'll let Zuch handle the recruiting stuff.

There goes Kentucky's Plan A.
Three-time National Champion head coach of your basketball rival, including the last two national titles. Yikes. There's nowhere to go but down from here.

Billy Donovan's decision to remain at Florida rather than take the vacant head coaching job at Kentucky leaves the field for Tubby Smith's replacement wide open, with names from all over the college basketball landscape finding their way into the rumor mill.
Mostly because they're rumors. If here on Yellow Chair, we write "we have inside sources deep inside the Lakers who refused to be named on the record, that Phil Jackson is polishing up his resume and is considering taking the Kentucky job," who's there to say we're wrong? And that might be just enough to get it into the rumor mill.

Barnhart issued a statement on Thursday asking for patience during the hiring process.
Good luck getting patience from Kentucky fans. See point below in blue.

"We have had productive conversations with various individuals over the last two weeks, and it's obvious that there are a number of outstanding coaches who could succeed at Kentucky," Barnhart said. "I'm confident we'll find the right man."
We had all our eggs in one basket. (Chomp) Oops.

Donovan, a former Kentucky assistant under Rick Pitino, was considered the school's first choice to take over college basketball's all-time winningest program. Donovan's ties to the school's Renaissance under Pitino and his up-tempo style of play made him an appealing pick for one of the nation's most ardent fan bases.
Just replace the words "ties to the school's Renaissance under Pitino" to "National Championship Rings," the word "appealing" to "auto-erotically gratifying" and "ardent" to "insane, unrealistic, and overdemanding."

Barnhart received permission to talk to Donovan late Wednesday night, but by Thursday morning Donovan had decided to stay at the school where he's won back-to-back national championships.
As opposed to going to a school that practically demands back-to-back national championships.

Whoever Barnhart hires will have to stabilize a program that's struggled -- by its lofty standards -- over the last few years.
Struggled? 6 SEC East Division titles won either outright or tied for out of the last 8. 7 regular season conference championships in the last 13. Only at Kentucky does that constitute "struggling."

Kentucky hasn't made it to the Final Four since winning the national championship in 1998, the longest drought between national semifinal appearances in school history.
Only 9 years since you've been to the Final Four? Cry me a fuckin' river. There was that one time that you had only lost 1 game all year before the Elite 8. What happened to that team? Oh yea, now I remember.

The Wildcats went 22-12 this season, losing to Kansas in the second round of the NCAA tournament and have lost at least 10 games in four of their last eight seasons.
Dear prospective UK coaches,
Aside from the fact that this also means they've lost less than 10 games in 4 of the last 8 seasons, at most other schools (perhaps even your current one), this is considered a banner year. At Kentucky, it's total failure. Geez, no wonder coaches get run out of town there.

Smith's departure opened the door for center Randolph Morris, who signed a free-agent contract with the NBA's New York Knicks the day after Smith left for Minnesota. Morris was eligible to sign with an NBA team under a rule in the Collective Bargaining Agreement that made him a free agent when he wasn't selected during the 2005 NBA Draft.
Man, this really isn't related to the rest of the article at all. Good close, SI.

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Coaching Carousel

It's that fun time of the year, where coaching paychecks(and said coaches stomachs) get a little bit fatter. This carousel will be the most exciting since 2003, for the simple fact that one of the crown jewel jobs, Kentucky, has now opened up after Tubby Smith finally admitted defeat and took the first train to Minnesota. A real intriguing opening is Michigan, since they may be this year's sleeping giant: a very nice tradition, excellent recruiting, and an AD that has plenty of patience. For those who like living in the middle of nowhere and recruiting farm boys, there's Iowa. Along the way, I think another couple of dominoes fall. Also, if you have any common sense, ignore Andy Katz.

Kentucky:
Predicted New Coach: Billy Donovan-Florida
Other Serious Candidates: Thad Matta-Ohio State, Billy Gillespie-Texas A&M
Others in the hunt: John Calipari-Memphis, Tom Crean-Marquette, Jay Wright-Villanova

Florida, should Donovan take the UK job:
Predicted New Coach: Anthony Grant-VCU
Other Serious Candidates: John Pelphrey-South Alabama, John Calipari-Memphis
Others in the Hunt: Gregg Marshall-Winthrop, Brad Brownell-Wright State

Michigan:
Predicted New Coach: John Beilein-West Virginia
Other Serious Candidates: Chris Lowery-Southern Illinois, Ernie Kent-Oregon
Others in the Hunt: Lon Kruger-UNLV, Dana Altman-Creighton

Iowa:
Predicted New Coach: Dana Altman-Creighton
Other Serious Candidates: Chris Lowery-Southern Illinois, Bruce Pearl-Tennessee
Others in the Hunt: Mark Turgeon-Wichita State

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