Thank you, Jesus

The Chicago White Sox have announced today that Steve Stone will take over the color analyst role for TV broadcasts next season, replacing current color man Darrin Jackson.

For those of you that don't live in the Chicago TV market or have never watched White Sox games on WGN, it's impossible for me to overstate how huge of an improvement this is. (Imagine upgrading to a Lamborghini from lung cancer. It's something like that.)

As for Darrin Jackson, he seems like a very nice guy, and I feel bad about all the harsh words I've had for him on this blog. Having said that, he is--quite simply--a bad color analyst. Maybe he'd be fine as a pannelist on a studio show or a technician in an eye-care clinic, but he is not good at calling live baseball games. Hopefully he will find his niche elsewhere.

Read more...

In the words of the man himself, "That is BS!"

A few minutes ago, the colorful, legendary voice of the Chicago White Sox, Ken "the Hawk" Harrelson made--in my estimation--a somewhat dubious claim.

He and partner Darrin "D.J." Jackson were discussing the incredible out-of-the-box speed of Royals outfielder Joey Gathright. According to Jackson, Gathright has been clocked at 3.3 seconds to first on a bunt and 3.6 swinging. Pretty fast, huh?

Not to be left out, however, Hawk, as is his trademark, invoked the exploits of a player from his day--just to make sure none of the viewers would get the crazy idea that players today might be as good, or better, than those of yesteryear.

According to the Hawkmeister, the great Mickey Mantle was clocked at "three seconds flat" out of the left-handed batter's box. That's right--3.0 seconds. That is, 0.3 seconds, or 9% faster than one of the speediest players in the game today.

Consider: That corresponds to a rate of 10 yds/sec (ok, maybe 9.8 when you subtract the distance between home plate and the lefty batter's box). Now let me ask you this: How many times have you heard of an NFL player running a 4.0-40? Though, when you think about it, a 3.0-30 would actually correspond to a 40 time below 4.0 since the last ten yards are run at a higher velocity than the acceleration distance shared by both a 30-yard and 40-yard sprint.

Am I finished? Oh no.

The 100-meter world record in 1956--about the same time as Mantle's prime--was 10.1 seconds. Today, it's 9.72 because--get this--people are faster.

Let's pile on some more. What, if you had to guess, was the error tolerance on a mid-20th century stopwatch? A hundreth of a second? A tenth? Note that the 100-meter records weren't measured to the second decimal place until at least 1961. And I really doubt that whatever bench coach or scout recorded this alleged 3.0 home-to-first did not possess the cutting edge stopwatch technology that was used in the Olympics.

(Still going.) The depth of scouting--and therefore the accuracy of scouting--in Mantle's time was not nearly what it is today. I'd fancy that a Yankees coach with poor reaction time could have "timed" Mantle by counting to three on his fingers like the owl in the Tootsie Roll Pop commercial with very few, if any, checks by opposing scouts.

Also...

No... No, I think I've finally had enough. This was totally not worth the effort.

(Also, I bet Mickey Mantle never did this:



Mercy!)

Read more...

Hawk and DJ: As dedicated to their blog as we are

I was over at the Chicago Tribune web-site this morning, and I decided to navigate the link to my second-favorite internet web-log, Hawk and DJ's baseball blog to see what fine insights these baseball veterans of a combined 21 years playing experience have offered in recent days.

Unfortunately, all I saw on the front page were videos of game highlights and Stats Inc. factoids and series previews. In fact, I had to go all the way back to April 9 to find the most recent Hawk post and March 15 for the latest DJ piece, which was his first since a blurb about a Jon Garland hot streak last June 4.

Fortunately for those of us who sorely miss Hawk and DJ's cutting analysis, I think I can fill in. I've watched enough White Sox games over the last several years to know how they would size up the recent doings of the Sox if they had the time to post. So first, let's hear from Hawk...

Different game

It's a shame the way the umpires have taken over the game. Ten, twenty, thirty years ago, you'd never see that. Guys just can't throw inside anymore. I've never seen as many exploding bats as I have in the last five years. Guys used to prefer ash bats, but more guys are going to maple. There was a pitcher I played with in Kansas City by the name of John O'Donoghue who we liked to call "Odelayheehoo" for short. We were playing Cleveland one time, and Rocky Colavito tagged Odie for a homerun in the first inning. Rocky was sort of a hot dog, and he started walking toward first when the ball left the bat, and Johnny-O didn't take too kindly to it. You never saw that sort of thing forty, fifty, sixty years ago. He said, "The next time he comes up, I'm gonna knock him on his backside before he even gets to the dish." Of course, he didn't use the word "backside." So as Colavito was leaving the on-deck circle next time up, O-dog pelted him right in the kisser. And that was before they made guys wear helmets. You don't see that anymore. You see a lot more maple bats today because they have a little more pop in them. I always preferred a good piece of ash. The umpires have to remember that the fans come out to see the players perform, not the umpires. Most of the umpires are very good, but some of them aren't as good. Just like there are good and bad ballplayers, there are good and bad umpires. You just want them to call balls and strikes the same for both sides.

Stretch! Stretch! Stretch!... Mercy! Dadgummit...

And now DJ...

Positive signs

I completely agree, Hawk. After a rough patch, Juan Uribe seems to be finding his rhythm. We all know that when Juan gets into a groove, he's one of the most dangerous hitters in the American League. He reminds me a lot of a guy I used to play against on the San Francisco Giants named Jose Uribe because they both used to play shortstop and have the last name Uribe. The young starting pitchers show no signs of slowing down, and you know Mark Buehrle will get back to pitching like the Cy Young-caliber ace we know he is. Jose Contreras looks fully healthy again, and I think he could have a career year. And we all know what the "Silent Assassin" Javy Vazquez can do. Kenny Williams has made some excellent moves, and Ozzie has these guys energized and playing hard. I think the Sox are hitting their stride, and I really think they will get in a groove. Kenny Williams has put together a great team, and you know this team will find its rhythm and be in the mix come September.

Read more...

A great day for White Sox fans

The White Sox just traded Juan Uribe for Hanley Ramirez!

Just kidding. But they did pull the broadcaster equivalent of that. As reported in this morning's Red Eye, White Sox broadcaster Darrin Jackson will be going on leave next month for the birth of his expected child. (Smart money says the kid doesn't learn to talk until he's four.)

In his stead during the leave will be former Cubs broadcaster and Semite, Steve Stone.


And one more:

Read more...

Even for Darrin Jackson, that was really horrible

Just now during the replay of a Juan Uribe home run,

DJ [in terrible Borat voice]: "That's a-niice."

Someone please punch that man. Hard.

Read more...