I've always loved Ozzie Guillen, right?

"I asked Peralta if that pitch was low and in, and he said yes," Guillen said. "They thought I was crazy because I wasn't protecting J.D. I was protecting the opposition. That means I was going to send the message that I wasn't here to protect my players. I was here to protect baseball."

This is a brilliant tactic. Why don't more managers do this rather than just lobbying for their own team? What better way to grease an ump than purporting to value fairness over all else, including your own team's success. If the ump buys it, he's likely to be more receptive to future protests by that manager, and if he takes offense--like DiMuro did--the manager still wins by making the ump look like a Sensitive Sally. I love it.