I know a lot of you Cubs fans are upset today, and I count myself among you. But with every disappointment, there are plenty of things to be thankful for. Here are eleven:
1) We should hear significantly less of Eddie Vedder's weird attempt at an Irish drinking song in the coming weeks and years. Man, that song drove me nuts.
2) Ditto for "Go Cubs Go."
3) Two of my favorite baseball players of all time, Greg Maddux and Manny Ramirez, will play on. And what makes me happy should make everyone happy.
4) You still have your loved ones, your home, and your health. That is, unless you're a friendless invalid who's been evicted. In that case, I don't know what to tell you.
5) You may feel pretty terrible this morning, but you know who else does?
And an unhappy Jim Belushi can only be a good thing.
6) You know who else probably feels terrible? These assclowns:
7) Bookstores and libraries will continue to be stocked with real books instead of biographies of Ryan Theriot and Jeff Garland's treatise on what it means for the Cubs to win the World Series.
8) If you're one of those fans who stops watching the playoffs when your team is eliminated, you'll have more time in the coming weeks to spend quality time with the kids and organize your life. As for me, I have no kids and will continue watching every possible second of playoff baseball, and my life will continue to spiral into an every-increasing state of disorder.
9) There is a natural balance to all things set in place by the Creator, never to be truly understood by human comprehension. It is both mysterious and awesome, and our lives are a never-ending journey to submit to our infinite smallness in this universe and attempt to grasp its many wonders. I don't think that gobbledygook has anything to do with baseball, but I figured I'd throw it out there.
10) Cubdom won't have to trade in the bandwagon for an aircraft carrier. At least not yet.
11) Mark Cuban is on the way, and he shall be our salvation.